I wish to acknowledge that this is not an ordinary, or as presumed, 'stereotypical' sympathy-whoring thread, but instead, a call for aid in senses moral and otherwise.
I will begin with saying: my life is fine. There is nothing wrong with it, I have a life as good as anyone else's is or ever will be. I do not abide by normal and automatic, pubescent responses such as "I have been going through some stuff," or "everybody hates me, I should kill myself." No, instead: I am socially retrograde.
I am a cynical skeptic, as if an aura of extreme pessimism surrounds me. My problem lies within my confines of behavior.
As an intermittent statement, I do follow 'moral' advice, such as 'treat others how you would expect yourself to be treated.' Unfortunately, I carry this to an extent where it becomes part of me. My natural cynicism warps the natural meaning of this statement, i.e. be nice to everyone, and takes it literally. I expect everyone to treat me under negative eyes, and so I, while meaning no harm, treat others as such.
Another literally-absorbed statement is this: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." Insults do not apply to me. I am, quite literally, impossible to impress through words or text. But my problem lies within a few factors:
One, lack of a moral filter. I do not consider so-called 'insults' before making them, assuming they carry no weight to their target.
Two, I lack any form of social guidelines; to me, no topic, no thing, is taboo. Taboos do not exist within my mind, and therefore I speak openly about subjects such as homoloveuality, abortion, and politics freely without any consideration of verbally assaulting my limited audience. That segways into the third and final issue,
I forgo any positive reputation, or as most would call it, 'street cred.' This causes a feedback loop in my mind, therefore my problem worsens over time. I am transferring to a new institution next school year, and so this would be my opportunity to resolve that.
But I am full of self-depreciation. However, this is completely negated by my mental shield to insults, self-depreciating or otherwise. I can openly say that I am misanthropic, and I lack any sort of faith, hope, etc. in others. And so, to give pure, unadulterated/unabridged me in social situations, here is my philosophy.
Life means nothing and is nothing. Nobody will remember you after your death, and eventually, there will be nobody to remember you and any accomplishments of the human race at all. There will be no human race, and nothing is worth anything.
But I, through a tiny glimmer of light in the void that I exist in, realize my flaws. And so, instead of going to a psychiatrist (which by any means a reasonable person would do,) I will go to the world's most diverse and skilled psychiatrist, philosopher, and proverbial wingman: the Internet.
I ask for your advice, because I want to change my demeanor into something more socially acceptable, if not simply filtered to know what will and won't work in social situations.
Basically, I want to reclaim the infinite bell curve that is social adaptability, acceptance, or the true impossibility for any person: normality.
Thanks for reading.
"TL;DR": If you look to this one line first, then you are of no use and may go about your day without further interruption from me.
THE EDIT FOR LAYMEN
Help me, I'm not normal.
My life is fine, so I'm not going to complain about my life being horrible.
I am cynical; i.e. I hate people and myself. But I can't be insulted. Insults don't work for me, because I never become insulted.
I treat others as I would expect myself treated: with a negative manner.
I do not speak to others thinking about how they might react. I expect no reaction from something possibly insulting. I expect people to have a skin, basically.
But they don't. I always insult people, accidentally or otherwise. I lack any normal social guidelines, because I make my own. My own guidelines are often not accepted, and so people regard me as either:
insane,
or a douchebag.
[In y'alls cases, I am regarded as someone who tries too hard.]
Please help me, I need advice from normal people.
