Hello there. My name is Michael Nalty, and I have studied Garfield for 10 years, I feel that I am ready to run for president of the Garfield Fan Club. Garfield was a great comic, what greater comedy is there than a fat cat eating food and kicking things? None, that is truly the answer. The only comic that comes close to Garfield in hilarity would have to be Dilbert. Where else can we see the ongoing shenanigans of middle-aged men fight for survival (and coffee!)?
Now some people, they said these comics are lame. They would go that far to insult ANYTHING AMERICAN. Those people disgust me, they don't deserve to glance upon THE GREATNESS THAT IS DILBERT/GARFIELD! Now some people have told me about "webcomics". Heh, more like "nerdcomics". Who wants to read a comic but some loser on the internet for 12 hours a day? Losers, that's who. And to those Dilbert and Garfield fans that like webcomics; You have betrayed us. We have spent out entire lives on Garfield and Dilbert, only to have you scum look at pathetic "NERDCOMICS". You all disgust me. I will have none of you in the Garfield Fan Club.
How will I change the Garfield Fan Club? Well, I have noticed we do not get much publicity. I will change that. There will be Garfield Fan Club banners in the street, there will be people wearing GARFIELD FAN CLUB T-SHIRTS, THERE WILL BE PEOPLE READING GARFIELD, AND THINKING "I should join the Garfield Fan Club!". That is my mission, that is my goal in life. To get the Garfield Fan Club powerful with a lasting mark on Society and Politics forever!
But don't think I only care about the Garfield Fan Club! In fact, I have created my own Dilbert Fan Club. This also shows I have experience in leadership and responsibility. In the Dilbert Fan Club we discuss current and past stories and even create our own! Out of all the Dilbert characters, I think I like Wally the best. I really admire him, I mean, just look at him, he's bald and middle-aged, but does he give up? Does he listen to what other people say about him? NO! He drinks his coffee and gets the job done.
In short, I believe that given my experience, I am fully capable of leading the Garfield Fan Club well. LET'S GO, FOR GARFIELD!
~Signed, Michael Nalty.
