When I was in 4-5th grade (somewhere around there) my class had to write short stories.
Being the creative yet diagnosably handicapped child that I was, my story was about a pretty out of the box adventure, the teacher liked it a lot until it got to the part of a main character being tied up and castrated with a rusty knife.
Then she tore up my paper, the bitch.
In 7th grade me and a friend decided to sneak out of school to go to the shop and get some delissus candies, figuring we would be back before lunch ended. However when we got back we found we had been gone for an hour and a half and the whole school was looking for us, so we hid on the roof until one of the whores in the year below me saw us and told the teacher.
In 5th grade a girl had a massive crush on me and wouldn't leave me alone, doing things like:
Calling me for over an hour every day,
Trying to get her friends to pretend we were getting married,
Telling me we had to kiss in front of people so they would believe we were going out when we weren't, etc.
So one day, while she was calling me I just said "I don't like you stop calling me, fatty" (I know, I was excelent at handling women back then)
The next time I saw her at school she got all the girls to chase me with rocks :(
I also saw her at a music fest 2 years ago where she reminded me about it and how she cried for like 2 days, but she's a drugged up hooker now so whatevs.
