Author Topic: tips for applying to jobs?  (Read 1019 times)

i really really need a job soon and i've been applying online for 5 months now.
does anyone on these forums have any tips for getting a job?
ANYWHERE AT ALL
I DONT EVEN CARE ANYMORE I JUST WANT A JOB


Be sure to ask what perks there are.

Don't ask for the job, tell them you're getting the job.

threaten to stab them in the forehead if they don't hire you
applying for jobs should be in the most fastest and efficient way possible

on your resume.
literally list that you will work weekends, night shifts, holidays.
HR and managers LOVE when you arent picky. they will pick you over many others.

in an interview, they cant legally ask you but you can mention:
you have no kids.
you have your own reliable transportation.
you dont party. (drinking or drugs, without having to actually say that)

that looks good to.


any starfish can claim to have great customer service skills, or can multitask. and they all DO say that.
you gotta volunteer info that they really wanna know, but cant ask.

hell, i have straight up told employers before that i would refuse the dental and health plans. (i have my own)
they love that to lol

because like 80% of people interview the same. so dont try to impress them with crap about how you would be a good employee. you gotta make them see why the others being interviewed are stuffty.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2013, 07:54:22 PM by Bisjac »

also. do whatever it takes when editing your resume, to make it ONE PAGE!

and having a little profile pic of yourself in the corner of it DOES help. make sure its a pic that looks good in black and white, in case you upload it somewhere and whoever printed it dosnt use color.

Don't ask for the job, tell them you're getting the job.
being roostery gets you: nothing

stop

physically go to the place and apply



physically go to the place and apply
because people have money to spend on paper and ink to print out applications
-goodies-
thanks

Best tip ever for job interviews: always always always remember that your first impression is often what gets you the job. Dress smartly, look 'em in the eye (not in an uncomfortable way, of course), and smile. Show 'em that you're made of good stuff from the moment you walk in, and you'll have a good chance of getting the job.


being roostery gets you: nothing

stop
because i'm totally serious/??????