Best Crimes Ever

[XR-7]

I'm not including all that I found, but some of these are just so freaking amazing.

Colorado Springs: A guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

Very original.

Arizona: A man walked into a local Kwik Shop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

The Workaholic Criminal

Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home...with the chain still attached to the machine...with their bumper still attached to the chain...with their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.

Impressive.

South Carolina: A man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately.

???

Louisiana: A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled-- leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars.

Boy oh boy...

Seattle: When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

San Francisco: It seems a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote, "This iz a stikkup.  Put all your muny in this bag."  While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window.  So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.  After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.  She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not accept his stick up note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left.  The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who seized the man as he waited a the back of the line at Bank of America.

You don't say...?

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.  He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.  Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.  The whole event was caught on videotape.

My new goal in life is to find this video.

A man in Orange County Municipal Court had been ticketed for driving alone in the carpool lane. He claimed that the four frozen cadavers in the mortuary van he was driving should be counted. The judge ruled that passengers must be alive to qualify.

Wut.

I dunno if it's true or not but I once heard a story of a guy who tried to rob a bank while wearing a mask over his face, but he forgot to put eye holes in the mask and ended up running into a pole and knocking himself out. Sounds too stupid to be real, but then again so do a lot of these other stories...

I seem to recall reading one about a man who decided to rob a store... a gun store... full of armed customers... with a marked patrol car outside... and a police officer standing next to the register... in a state where licensed adults may carry concealed firearms in public...
Guy fired three shots into the air randomly to announce his holdup and was shot down promptly by the (armed) cashier and police officer and at least three customers.
Not sure about the source, think it was a Darwin Awards book.

There were 2 teens who tried to rob a police station...

A bunch of officers were being briefed and were located in the next room over so the next thing they know there are like 15 cops surrounding them lol

Post any other stupid crime stories and I'll put them up here too.

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[Zanaran2]

[Jonnycake]

is this the video youre looking for? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVFiMHzyu3g

[jamesster]

I dunno if it's true or not but I once heard a story of a guy who tried to rob a bank while wearing a mask over his face, but he forgot to put eye holes in the mask and ended up running into a pole and knocking himself out. Sounds too stupid to be real, but then again so do a lot of these other stories...

[Malleo100]

You cant say arkansas with an s at the end in arkansas

[Dexxtter]

You cant say arkansas with an s at the end in arkansas

you can but you look stupid.

[devildogelite]

All of these stories are things I would expect from a forwarded email from my grandmother

[.:FancyPants:.]

All of these stories are things I would expect from a forwarded email from my grandmother

idk man those cat videos you'll get sometimes are pretty top notch

[Cybersix]

I know for a fact the one about the motor home is an urban legend.

[Malleo100]

I know for a fact the one about the motor home is an urban legend.

Tell us your story of motar homes

[XR-7]

I dunno if it's true or not but I once heard a story of a guy who tried to rob a bank while wearing a mask over his face, but he forgot to put eye holes in the mask and ended up running into a pole and knocking himself out. Sounds too stupid to be real, but then again so do a lot of these other stories...

I've heard that one. I just happened to want to read these for the lulz. I heard the first one from Jay Leno a long time ago.

[0xBRIANSMITH]

There was a guy arrested for selling a bag of pot, but upon opening the bag it was actually filled with grass.

[Bisjac]

funny, but like none of em are true

[XR-7]

There was a guy arrested for selling a bag of pot, but upon opening the bag it was actually filled with grass.

Is that meant to be a pun or something?

[Tonkka²]

funny, but like none of em are true

Don't be so pessimistic. At least they're entertaining.