Short Story

[Madmole]

im going to quickly point out short sentences are ok, but only when in a good place for effect.

I opened my eyes slowly as I began to wake up, dazed from perhaps weeks of slumber. My head was in agony. As I reached up my hand to hold it, I realized that I couldn't move, my arms and legs strapped down tightly with hard leather. Breathing was painful, my chest set alight underneath my shirt. I lifted my head and glanced around at the room that I was in, and found I was lying on a table, with a bright light shining above me. Looking at the dark floors, a silhouette dripping with sweat looked back.

i guess the main thing is to read it aloud and see if you like it

(just know im not some kind of expert writer that plays blockland in his spare time, this is just my opinion.)

[Ad Bot]

[Muslim]

"Short"

Do you have loving autism or something, Niff?

Because if you did your research on short stories, most short stories are LONGER than this. Many short stories go to about 60 pages long. They're SHORT STORIES, not MICROSCOPIC stories.

[childofdarkness016]

They're SHORT STORIES, not MICROSCOPIC stories.

Actually, in English class, I did read a short story that was a sentence long, so...

Do you have loving autism or something, Niff?

Also, I don't have a problem with people using words like gay or handicapped in a derogatory sense but when you phrase it like that it's actually kind of offensive

just saying

[BluetoothBoy]

Do you have loving autism or something, Niff?

Because if you did your research on short stories, most short stories are LONGER than this. Many short stories go to about 60 pages long. They're SHORT STORIES, not MICROSCOPIC stories.

What the heck type'a pages you reading? Most short stories (on average-sized pages) are 4 to 25-ish pages. I have never once seen a 60 page short story. If there are any, they'd be pretty few and far between.

im going to quickly point out short sentences are ok, but only when in a good place for effect.

I opened my eyes slowly as I began to wake up, dazed from perhaps weeks of slumber. My head was in agony. As I reached up my hand to hold it, I realized that I couldn't move, my arms and legs strapped down tightly with hard leather. Breathing was painful, my chest set alight underneath my shirt. I lifted my head and glanced around at the room that I was in, and found I was lying on a table, with a bright light shining above me. Looking at the dark floors, a silhouette dripping with sweat looked back.

i guess the main thing is to read it aloud and see if you like it

(just know im not some kind of expert writer that plays blockland in his spare time, this is just my opinion.)

Ah, this is an improvement, I think. There could be a few changes, but I like the way it flows. Nice use of diction.

[Muslim]

What the heck type'a pages you reading? Most short stories (on average-sized pages) are 4 to 25-ish pages. I have never once seen a 60 page short story. If there are any, they'd be pretty few and far between.

Maybe not 60 pages, but up to 25 pages.

[BluetoothBoy]

Maybe not 60 pages, but up to 25 pages.

Ok, that makes a bit more sense. I think I read a novel once that was about 60 - 70 pages. XD

[Titanium Man]

Do you have loving autism or something, Niff?

Because if you did your research on short stories, most short stories are LONGER than this. Many short stories go to about 60 pages long. They're SHORT STORIES, not MICROSCOPIC stories.

wow he said "short" forget him hard he is autism x100 he is the equivalent of Riddler and down syndrome send him to hell and bury him in piss

[Niff]

I don't have autism but that doesn't mean I'm not stupid Muslim

[Madmole]

I don't have autism but that doesn't mean I'm not stupid Muslim

i-
wh-

[Blockhead8306]

im going to quickly point out short sentences are ok, but only when in a good place for effect.

I opened my eyes slowly as I began to wake up, dazed from perhaps weeks of slumber. My head was in agony. As I reached up my hand to hold it, I realized that I couldn't move, my arms and legs strapped down tightly with hard leather. Breathing was painful, my chest set alight underneath my shirt. I lifted my head and glanced around at the room that I was in, and found I was lying on a table, with a bright light shining above me. Looking at the dark floors, a silhouette dripping with sweat looked back.

i guess the main thing is to read it aloud and see if you like it

(just know im not some kind of expert writer that plays blockland in his spare time, this is just my opinion.)

Yeah, I see what you mean. I might start revising the story a bit.

[st8terblock]

I don't have autism but that doesn't mean I'm not stupid Muslim

i-
a-
wha-

[Blockhead8306]

Edited! Tried to make the flow seem a bit more natural.

[BluetoothBoy]

Better. But might I suggest you change

"...as I reached up my hand to hold it, I realized that I couldn't move."

to something more like

"...as I tried to reach my hand up to hold it, I found that something was holding me back."

simply because a) if he was strapped down, he couldn't actually move, and b) stating that you couldn't move is ok, but it sounds more literarily correct if you don't always describe what's happening directly.