I have no shame so here's a few from oldest to newest:
One time at a girlfriend's house i had to stuff like a loving monster, so i excused myself and went to the bathroom. I released my stuff but it wasn't quiet so i'm 99% sure everyone heard. I should've turned on the fan lol. I came back to the living room and it was dead silent.
Family friend, who's a girl, went to olive garden with her and my father. It was chill, and as we're leaving she's walking toward me. I don't know her very well so i extend for a high five. Man it felt like a year but she ignored dat hand. Then she noticed and was like OH I DIDN'T KNOW SORRY ): forget that sucked lol.
in highschool this kid would always eat lunch alone, so i went over to him one day and was like "hey man, i noticed you sit here a lot, would you want to sit with me and some friends?" The kid flat out ignored me and i was standing there like a jackass.
In college I was showing a friend some of my animations. We were on the campus coffee shop in the middle table. I forgot a lot of them were graphic and had a lot of swearing in them. I showed him one featuring metalman from megaman getting his richard evicerated and someone behind us goes: oh I didn't know people here were into murder research. Kicker: afterward the guy who said that went on to talk to his friend about memes and mlp (he was wearing a hot topic core "meme" shirt).
College again: I was having a discussion with some black guy and smoking habits and stuff. I was telling him about dat dank kush when he digresses into cigarette smoking. He says he smoked a pack a day for six months. I go "damn dude, how'd you get the money?" Silence. He just smiles, the professor overheard and goes "you better not be discussing illegal activities...." I loving laughed off the awkward.
Work: I'm a pizza guy, so I meet a forgetton of people on my job. I met this one guy who was blazed out of his mind. Now this forgeter paid with credit card, so I had to check his id, and get him to sign a receipt. Mind you, his fedora wearing friend was behind him while I tried to get his ass to sign stuff. I was standing there for twenty mins while he's bragging about all the beer and weed he has. I tellhim to give me some stuff for the road and he gets confused and pulls me into the house. He has a loving bong, hookah pipe and stufftons of awful beer. He tells me to take a hit, while fedora cigarette says no, it'll forget me up. I was like nah I can do dis stuff. Fedora cigarette hands me 15 dollars to walk away. forget, can't refuse that. But I have to get the receipt signed. Stoned guy still can't get his wobbly ass to sign the paper. Tl:dr that forgeter wasted my time but damn tipping game is ridiculous.
