IntroductionHi everyone! So today as you can see I have created my very own weight loss blog which documents my
journey towards a lovey body that all the chicks dig. Now if you're like me and are a fat loser, both unemployed
and single, with no confidence or self esteem what-so-ever, then this is for you. Weight is something that
made my life miserable and pointless for many years, and I feel extremely emotional with every button
I press on this keyboard. However I think it necessary that other lifeless losers out there get in on the
tips and tricks I have learnt to become this fantastic beast, so lets get started!
Below I have listed what I looked like and did in weeks, some things worked - other things didn't, so please keep that in mind.
So after getting off to my ass to finally do something with my life, I started thinking "how can I lose weight fast?"
now most of you out there are probably like "join a gym" but the problem is that I don't feel comfortable
around other guys, especially ones more muscular than me. So after a day or so of thinking, I finally
decided that I would try out jogging......this didn't turn out well...I got; mugged twice, bitten by a dog and embarrassed in front of two groups of girls.
After a week of this hell, I took a look at other options.
While browsing through a couple of weight loss blogs, I found out that an extremely easy way to cut the fat is to become bulimic,
it did take me a while to actually attempt vomiting, but I was extremely pleased with the results, in fact I recorded the whole event!
As you can see, I did eat a lot of pork pies that day, so the volume of puke was quite large, but forcing yourself to vomit
isn't actually that painful...
There was both upsides and downsides to my new bulimic discovery, the upside was that I have excellent
hips now...kinda bony...but excellent still. The downside was that I would find myself feeling extremely
hungry a lot of the time, and it was rather unpleasant having to clean up vomit every couple of hours,
however I have decided that no matter how much pain; I will keep up the routine!
So yeah guys...I'm kinda in hospital right now...turns out that vomiting everything you've eaten every couple of hours
is actually very bad for you...who would have known?
Hi guys, it's me again. I just checked out of the hospital and they said "try not to vomit again," anyway...being in hospital kinda sucked,
there was a fat nurse there who kept giving me this creepy look when I was strapped to my bed, dunno what her problem was. Moving
on; I have actually decided to change my approach towards weight loss, even though I said I felt uncomfortable about it; I'm going to join a
gym. Hoping for the best, I'll update you guys next week!
OH MY GOD GUYSSSSSSSSSSSS! I am totally RIPPED! Joining the gym was like...the best decision I have ever made.
They have these like...these like...um...running...machine
...things...and you can like totally watch TV while you jog on them!
Anyway, I'm guessing that this will be the end of my weight loss blog,
my advice would be to
forget everything I posted previously
and join a gym. (Update) NEW AND EXCLUSIVE: Get 0% off my "Instinctive Weight Loss System" CD!
The End.
