There's justNot enough tonality.
eghhh it's like the melody wasn't planned at all. it sounds like a bunch of separate off-tone tracks put together. also why'd you make a thread for this? there's a music megathread iirc.
nothing wrong with making your own thread for something you made
I have to agree with Khorde, Katadeus, and Plastiware. That's what happens when you try to use the whole-tone scale. I highly suggest learning basic music theory, specifically how to use scales and chords.