ALTOQUEST

[Niblic²]

> START ALTOQUEST
Hold your figurative horses, buddy. We need to go through a few annoying and self-aggrandizing panels first to establish the illusion that this is a real game. You sit there comfy on your computer chair while I draw up the actual story while you're distracted, okay? Let's go.
> TURN ON ALTOPORT

After a long day of hard, real-life working, you sit in front of your clunky and squarical ALTOPORT to play the hit game of the century, ALTOQUEST. This event transpires without any images to accompany it, because I trashed all the pretty .gifs I made for this command.

> PICK YOUR CHARACTER



You open up your starfish REPERTOIRE to peruse the extensive list of characters to choose from. The list features a daunting THREE (3) CHUMPS with their NAME and MOST MEMORABLE QUOTE MADE DURING THEIR LIFETIME written on their profiles. You're not sure if you're ready for this kind of free will, but it is necessary if you want to continue this story.

Pick your CHUMP.

[Ad Bot]

[Satan From Wreck-It-Ralph]

Beta because he's clearly a homoloveual and there will be a witch hunt if he isn't picked.

[Snaked_Snake]

Beta because he's clearly a homoloveual and there will be a witch hunt if he isn't picked.

No, Gamma. Because he said "Hum boogle boo"

[Niblic²]

Beta because he's clearly a homoloveual and there will be a witch hunt if he isn't picked.

You click on BETA's profile and while it doesn't tell you about his loveual orientation, it tells you what kind of STATS he's got. You're not too sure if these stats are good or not. Maybe the other two have something ridiculous like 1000 health or karma or whatever.

The giant candy red CONFIRM button taking up a third of the window catches your eye. It's just begging for you to click it but you know you should look at the other ones first. Maybe it's one of those buttons that need double clicking, so you can click it on once but not more than that. You're sure it would be worth it.

[Legodude77]

Check the others.

[Snaked_Snake]

You click on BETA's profile and while it doesn't tell you about his loveual orientation, it tells you what kind of STATS he's got. You're not too sure if these stats are good or not. Maybe the other two have something ridiculous like 1000 health or karma or whatever.

The giant candy red CONFIRM button taking up a third of the window catches your eye. It's just begging for you to click it but you know you should look at the other ones first. Maybe it's one of those buttons that need double clicking, so you can click it on once but not more than that. You're sure it would be worth it.

Click x and choose Gamma.

[Niblic²]

Check the others.

You close the window for BETA's profile and take a look at the others.



You click on ALPHA's profile and look at his stats. Wow, 100 health? That's two times BETA's health. However, you frown a little when you look at how awful his WILLPOWER and KARMA are, whatever they do.

If that CONFIRM button was a piece of candy, you'd have probably gone through six of them by now. Unfortunately, that's not the case, and you close ALPHA's profile disappointed at this.



You click on GAMMA's profile and notice how weird it is. What do his stats even mean? You're pretty sure 2d50 ain't a real number. His portrait's a little odd too, because you've never seen a person who's as black as that, unless the author of the story was trying to make some tribal connotations here.

The CONFIRM button just begs to be clicked. You feel compelled to hover your mouse over it, but you're certain that if you do, you'll end up clicking it in your nervous anticipation.

[Snaked_Snake]

CLICK CONFIRM ON GAMMA.

[jarelash]

Go for Alpha

[Niblic²]

CLICK CONFIRM ON GAMMA.

Your name is GAMMA, and you are a [ERROR VARIABLE "playerjob3" NOT FOUND]. You are currently standing in the middle of your OFFICE, which you find serviceable and dusty in the right spots, just how you like it. You have a set of WINDOWS to your NORTH looking outward to another BUILDING, but you cannot see what's inside the other BUILDING unless you look closer. To your WEST is your WAR-DROBE, which is stocked with your FINEST ARMANENTS. It is locked tight with a FLUX PADLOCK. To your SOUTH is your desk, with your ALTOPORT sat on it. To your EAST is a door, leading to a hallway outside your OFFICE.

What will you do?

(note: won't update for about two hours but just keep pouring suggestions)

[Snaked_Snake]

Unlock the Wardrobe, get what is in it and leave the office.

[Niblic²]

Unlock the Wardrobe, get what is in it and leave the office.

You're not entirely sure what a "Wardrobe" is but you walk to the thing that most resembles it, which is the WAR-DROBE. You attempt to open the FLUX LOCK, but the FLUX LOCK only opens if certain specific things are happening all at once! It reeks of DEUS EX MACHINA bullstuff but I'll make it an effort to make it only open in the most inconvenient scenarios, like if this guy decided to take a stuff maybe.

Also, the GUI inexplicably becomes slightly prettier with a shadow. That's also a thing I'll make sure to do now and then.

[childofdarkness016]

Roll the d50 to determine our stats.

[Niblic²]

Roll the d50 to determine our stats.

You attempt to roll THE D50s to determine your stats. However, THE D50s have no charges and you have already rolled to determine your stats when you were picked as a character!

[childofdarkness016]

You attempt to roll THE D50s to determine your stats. However, THE D50s have no charges and you have already rolled to determine your stats when you were picked as a character!

oh, i didn't notice.

swag i wasted a command