SCP-[even number]-J

[Mrmii21]

CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█

Item #: SCP-2534524523-J

Object Class: Orange

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2534524523-J is to be kept in a Waffle-lined containment chamber located in My ass, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 1.1 Prostitutes armed with candies.

In the event that SCP-2534524523-J ever begins stuffting its tits, Mr. Moople is to fart SCP-2534524523-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force A-7 (''SpengRob'') is to be dispatched to SCP-2534524523-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-2534524523-J is a Dumb worm. Like most members of its species, it is able to eating pie, and regularly eats twice its own weight in Waffle each day.

SCP-2534524523-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with boxes, which causes it to turn into fox. Whenever this happens, all horses within a 6 kilometer radius will begin to piss uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to John Freeman. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-2534524523-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-2534524523-J was first located in TheSuperDuperFunnyTownVille where the Da Beelz were using it in order to eat a chocolate bar. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force A-7 (''SpengRob'') was able to recover the object with only 4534675254514 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 2534524523-1

Dr. Herderfoghen: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Herderfoghen, and I am about to test SCP-2534524523's reaction to stuff. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Merlino?
Dr. Merlino: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Herderfoghen: Excellent! I am now introducing the stuff to 2534524523... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Merlino: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Herderfoghen: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN snake! IT'S GOT MEIN snake! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 2534524523-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█

[Ad Bot]

[Landmineman4000²]

Item #: SCP-John Cena-J

Object Class: 3rd grade

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-John Cena-J is to be kept in a melon-lined containment chamber located in Not your mom's house, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 40000 friends armed with Ur mom.

In the event that SCP-John Cena-J ever begins loving its Vagina, Adolf Riddler is to forget SCP-John Cena-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Dumb cunts-7 (''Super brown town XX'') is to be dispatched to SCP-John Cena-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-John Cena-J is a Stupid loving Dog. Like most members of its species, it is able to Riddler the stuff, and regularly eats twice its own weight in melon each day.

SCP-John Cena-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with Feminists, which causes it to turn into Columbus. Whenever this happens, all Feminists within a Googolplex kilometer radius will begin to stuff uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Christopher Walken. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-John Cena-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-John Cena-J was first located in Bualsville where the seal beaters were using it in order to Take over your mum's cunt. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Dumb cunts-7 (''Super brown town XX'') was able to recover the object with only Googolplex civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log John Cena-1

Dr. Arschlog: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Arschlog, and I am about to test SCP-John Cena's reaction to John Madden. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Dr.Dr.Dr.Dr.Dr.Dr.Dr.?
Dr. Dr.Dr.Dr.Dr.Dr.Dr.Dr.: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Arschlog: Excellent! I am now introducing the John Madden to John Cena... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Dr.Dr.Dr.Dr.Dr.Dr.Dr.: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Arschlog: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN Pokémon cards! IT'S GOT MEIN Pokémon cards! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident John Cena-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█

[erifpsiW]

CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█

Item #: SCP-richard-J

Object Class: richardtastic

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-richard-J is to be kept in a stuff-lined containment chamber located in My richard, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 2 prostitutes armed with richards.

In the event that SCP-richard-J ever begins loving its richard, Dr. richard is to stuff SCP-richard-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force richardpha-7 (''Space richardossy'') is to be dispatched to SCP-richard-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-richard-J is a large cow. Like most members of its species, it is able to forget bulls, and regularly eats twice its own weight in stuff each day.

SCP-richard-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with richards, which causes it to turn into a giant richard. Whenever this happens, all richards within a 2 kilometer radius will begin to whack uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Jennifer Anniston. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-richard-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-richard-J was first located in richardville where the Parents were using it in order to destroy my richard. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force richardpha-7 (''Space richardossy'') was able to recover the object with only 1900 richard involved civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log richard-1

Dr. richardinson: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr richardinson, and I am about to test SCP-richard's reaction to richard. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr richard?
Dr. richard: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. richardinson: Excellent! I am now introducing the richard to richard... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. richard: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

richardinson: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN richard! IT'S GOT MEIN richard! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident richard-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█

[Swat 3]

CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█

Item #: SCP-7-J

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7-J is to be kept in a teenage pubic hair-lined containment chamber located in Fort Knox, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 1.1 butt boys armed with your mum.

In the event that SCP-7-J ever begins loving its own starfish (due to the need to forget an orfice after a prolonged period of not raping teenage boys), Dr. Dominator is to rape SCP-7-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Γ-7 (''Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman'') is to be dispatched to SCP-7-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-7-J is a lovey beast. Like most members of its species, it is able to forget boys, and regularly eats twice its own weight in teenage pubic hair each day.

SCP-7-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with star fishes, which causes it to turn into a raping-demon. Whenever this happens, all (young male) starfishs within a 854 kilometer radius will begin to be forgeted by phallus-shaped entities uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Nicholas Cage. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-7-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-7-J was first located in a local high school in New York where the Eagles were using it in order to forget all of the teenage boys. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Γ-7 (''Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman'') was able to recover the object with only 69 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 7-1

Dr. Schneider: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Schneider, and I am about to test SCP-7's reaction to older men. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Frank?
Dr. Frank: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Schneider: Excellent! I am now introducing the older men to 7... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Frank: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Schneider: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN snake! IT'S GOT MEIN snake! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 7-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█

By observing all of the posts made in this thread, I can now say that the Blockland Forums is officially mature.

[Bomberguy]

CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█

Item #: SCP-richard Face-J

Object Class: I've seens things you would never want to see

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-richard Face-J is to be kept in a CREME BRULEE-lined containment chamber located in Area 51, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 2 Gynocolygists armed with Someone's stuffs in 1 year.

In the event that SCP-richard Face-J ever begins Driving its richard and Testicles, Dr.Eivenswag is to Stroking SCP-richard Face-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force omega-7 (''love and the city'') is to be dispatched to SCP-richard Face-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-richard Face-J is a super 420 mlg skill fast tiger. Like most members of its species, it is able to forget Millions of Whores, and regularly eats twice its own weight in CREME BRULEE each day.

SCP-richard Face-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with car, which causes it to turn into snake. Whenever this happens, all richards within a 2 kilometer radius will begin to Fap uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Simon Cowell. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-richard Face-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-richard Face-J was first located in Faptown where the muricans were using it in order to Have love. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force omega-7 (''love and the city'') was able to recover the object with only 420 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log richard Face-1


Dr. Eivenfriend: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Eivenfriend, and I am about to test SCP-richard Face's reaction to asswipe. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Asswafer?
Dr. Asswafer: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Eivenfriend: Excellent! I am now introducing the asswipe to richard Face... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Asswafer: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Eivenfriend: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN snake AND TESTICLES! IT'S GOT MEIN snake AND TESTICLES! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG
In light of incident richard Face-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█

[bambooXD]

comedy gold rite here:

"CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█

Item #: SCP-3-J

Object Class: MTF

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3-J is to be kept in a ice cream-lined containment chamber located in SCP-106, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 2 guarding armed with poor.

In the event that SCP-3-J ever begins running its head, the government is to walk SCP-3-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force V-7 (''attack on titan'') is to be dispatched to SCP-3-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-3-J is a blue cat. Like most members of its species, it is able to praying mantis, and regularly eats twice its own weight in ice cream each day.

SCP-3-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with us, which causes it to turn into notebook. Whenever this happens, all spy within a 4 kilometer radius will begin to drop uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to pewdipie. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-3-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-3-J was first located in Redjock town where the Red wings were using it in order to destroy humans. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force V-7 (''attack on titan'') was able to recover the object with only 926,946,953 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 3-1

    Dr. svenschloff: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr svenschloff, and I am about to test SCP-3's reaction to pudding. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr lee?

    Dr. lee: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

    Dr. svenschloff: Excellent! I am now introducing the pudding to 3... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

    Dr. lee: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

    svenschloff: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN leg! IT'S GOT MEIN leg! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

    END LOG

In light of incident 3-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█ "

lmao