Badspot hunts down all the goodspots and drags them to hell.
with both hands.
I'm guessing we're doing hte one hand thing too, so...
Left
Badsiut hunts diwn akk thr giidsiuts nd drahs then tu hejj.
Holy stuff.
Right
Baddiur fgtbrs duwv sjj rew fuudsiurd sbd drsgs efeb ru gjjm.
WHAT THE forget!?
EDIT:
This is some captain planet stuff up in here yo
I can use both hands to type whatever stuff I want flawlessly, but using just one hand mucks it all up.