SHAKESPEAREAN TRANSLATOR THREAD V1.0:

[crunk²]

http://lingojam.com/EnglishtoShakespearean

exactly what it says on the tin. it tries its best to translate whatever you put in to shakespeareean

example: chamillionaire's "riding dirty"

"they seeth me rolling
they hating
patrolling they trying to catcheth me ridin dirty
trying to catcheth me riding dirty
trying to catcheth me riding dirty
trying to catcheth me riding dirty
trying to catcheth me riding dirty
my music is so loud
i'm swinging
they hoping that they art going to catcheth me riding dirty
trying to catcheth me riding dirty
trying to catcheth me riding dirty
trying to catcheth me riding dirty
trying to catcheth me riding dirty"


post what you translate here

[Ad Bot]

[ZombiLoin]

what the forget did thou just loving sayeth about me, thou dram brach? i’ll hast thou knoweth i graduat'd top of mineth class in the navy seals, and i’ve been involv'd in num'rous secret raids on al-quaeda, and i hast o''r 300 confirm'd kills. i am train'd in g'rilla warfare and i’m the top snip'r in the entire us cap-a-pe f'rces. ye art nothing to me but just anoth'r targeteth. i will wipeth thou the forget out with precision the likes of which hath nev'r been seen ''re on this earth, marketh mineth loving w'rds. thou thinketh thou can geteth aroint with saying that stuff to me o''r the int'rnet? thinketh again, forget'r. as we speaketh i am contacting mineth secret netw'rk of spies across the usa and thy ip is being trac'd right anon so thou bett'r prepareth f'r the st'rm, maggot. the st'rm that wipes out the pathetic dram thing thou calleth thy life. you’re loving dead, kid. i can be anywh're, anytime, and i can killeth thou in o''r seven hundr'd ways, and that’s just with mineth bareth hands. not only am i extensively train'd in unarm'd combat, but i hast access to the entire arsenal of the unit'd states marine c'rps and i will useth it to its full extent to wipeth thy mis'rable ass off the faceth of the continent, thou dram stuff. if only thou couldst hast known what unholy retribution thy dram “clev'r” comment was about to endue down upon thou, haply thou wouldst hast held thy loving tongue. but thou couldn’t, thou didn’t, and anon you’re paying the price, thou goddamn pompous fooleth. i will stuff fury all o''r thou and thou will drowneth in it. you’re loving dead, kiddo.

[Jairo]

/thread

[Plethora]

i don't knoweth who ye art. i don't knoweth what thou wanteth. if ye art looking f'r ransom, i can telleth thou i don't hast chinks. but what i doeth hast art a v'ry particular seteth of arts, arts i hast acquir'd o''r a v'ry longeth care'r. arts that maketh me a nightmare f'r people liketh thou. if thou leteth mineth daught'r goeth anon, that'll be the endeth of it. i will not looketh f'r thou, i will not pursue thou. but if thou don't, i will looketh f'r thou, i will findeth thou, and i will killeth thou.

[Ikares]

thou knoweth what, thou don't knoweth what. i can't geteth a single posteth done without envy and bigotry. all towards me? yeah, it sucks, right? i don't hast good mot'r arts, i don't hast a lot of creativity, and i barely knoweth how to posteth aught. aye, i doeth needeth helpeth. but ev'ryone loving hates me so much. i'm quitting blockland f'r a longeth timeth, anon. i can't standeth lit'rally getting trolled, and hat'd. yeah, i knoweth, i'm posting multiple threads. thou knoweth what, i'm trying. autism is stuff, so is addeth, odd, bipolar, and oth'r dis'rd'rs. i can't posteth a thing on this f'rums without getting envy, and the chance of me getting bann'd increas'd. i'm not saying that blockland, 'r the administrat'rs of blockland art bad, it's just the community. aye, i can barely controleth mineth spleen, aye i can barely controleth myself, but doeth thou, yourself, knoweth how much it's hurting me reading all of thy comments? i hast bad controleth o''r mineth actions, and a h'rrible chance of getting banned, because i can't simply posteth right. i knoweth i needeth to hast arts, i absolutely knoweth that i don't hast any, but thith'r's nay goddamn respect on the int'rnet. jesus christ, what's up with this internet?

this was from my johhnny1ace Self Delete post. lol i was so stupid back then

[dudeman162]

[verse 1: childish gambino]
watching haters wonder wherefore gambino got the game locked
half-thai thickie, all she wanna doth is bangkok
got her hair done, french braids, anon she a$ap
bino so insensitive, she asking, "why thou say that?!"
i'm chillin', real brother feeling
rich kid, starfish: paint me as a villain
still spitting that chinks flow: dj khaled
i got a penthouse on both coasts, ph balance
real brother, i rep those, wherefore though? cause i said so
hip deep in the pepto, i got five on her like ben folds
i got moo tail than that petco, thou faker than some sweet'n low
yeah, thou got some silverware, but really art thou eating though?
are thou eating though? brother, art thou eating though?
breakfast, lunch and dinner's f'r beginners, thou ain't yea know
nev'r catching cases, wherefore they faces look so e-m-o?
watch a hater envy me, wanna play me like a piano
my architect wot japanese, yo' girl, she jocking me
no hands like soccer teams and y'all forget boys like socrates
you brothers ain't copping these, brothers ain't looking like me
nah, i ain't checking i. d. but i bounce 'em with nay problem
tell 'em, problem (problem!)

[bridge: childish gambino]
i'm winnin', yeah, yeah, i'm winnin' [x3]
rich kid, starfish, paint me as a villain

[hook: problem]
don't be nimble-foot'd cause i'm doing me better than thou doing thou [x3]
better than thou doing thou, forget it, what thou gon' doth?

[verse 2: childish gambino]
different color, mine passport, instagram mine stack load
hashtag mine day wear and thy girl drink mine day care. and i'm born rich, life ain't fair (silv'r spoon coon, ho)
ain't nobody sicker and mine fisker "vroom, vroom," ho
ain't nobody
fiskers don't make noise when they start up, just so thou know
top of the hold 'em totem, rich forever, a million was not the quota
my father own'd half of moma and did it with nay diploma
year off, got nay rules, tripping off of them toadstools
more green than mine whole foods and i'm too fly, jeff goldblum
got a glass house in the palisades, that a-k-a
white hood, white hood, (okay-kay-kay)
furniture custom, thou shop at ikea
so maserati, thou whipping a kia
spending this chinks, it's longer than nia
live like a coppola, me and sofia
waking up broke, man, wouldn't wanna be ya
friends with the dope man, help a brother re-up
bring a girlfriend, man, ado when i see her
"err-err-err-err": onomatopoeia, oh, i got mine cool on! (tell 'em, mane)
i'm winning so they had to dump the gatorade
and i don't give a forget about mine family name

[hook]

[ßlöükfáce]

goeth eateth stuff thou loving blinking pompous daw

forget YOU BEAT ME TO IT

[Boink!]

"bitches ain't stuff"
(feat. snoop dogg, dat brother daz, kurupt, jewel)

[snoop] braches ain't stuff but hoes and tricks. . . [chorus (snoop (2x):]
bitches ain't stuff but hoes and tricks
lick on these nuts and sucketh the richard
get the forget out aft'r thou're done
and i hopeth in mineth rideth to maketh a quick runeth. . . [dr. dre]
i us'd to knoweth a brach nam'd eric wright
we us'd to rolleth around and forget the hoes at night
tight than a motherforgeter with the gangsta beats
and we was ballin' on the motherloving compton streets
peep, the stuff got deep and 'twas on
number one song after numbereth one song
long as mineth motherloving pockets was fat
i didn't giveth a forget whence the brach was at
but she was hangin' with a white brach doin' the stuff she do
suckin' on his richard just to geteth a buck 'r two
and the few ends she got didn't meaneth nothin'
now she's suing 'cause the stuff she be doin' ain't stuff
bitch can't hangeth with the streets, she found herself short
so anon she's takin' me to court
it's real conv'rsation f'r thy ass
so recognizeth and passeth to daz

[dat brother daz]
now as i'm rollin' with mineth brother dre and eastwood
forgetin' hoes, clockin' dough up to nay good
we flip flop and serveth hoes liketh flapeth jacks
([snoop:] but we don't loveth them hoes) brach, and it's liketh that
this is what thou looketh f'r in a ho who got chinks flow
you runeth up in them hoes and grabeth the cash
and geteth thy dash on
while thou're chillin', with thy homies and stuff
and how mineth brotherz kicketh the anthem liketh this

[snoop] brach!!

[chorus]

[kurupt]. . . to the storeth, to geteth me a 4-0
snoop doggy dogg paged, that wilt meaneth moo hoes
so i headeth down the street to longeth beach
just so i couldst meeteth, a freak
to licketh me from mineth headeth to mineth feet
and i'm hither, anon i'm ready to be done up
nothin' but homies around so i puteth mineth caliv'r up
bitches on mineth nuts liketh clothes
but i'm from the pound and we don't loveth them hoes
how couldst thou trusteth a hoe? [snoop:] wherefore? [echo'd 3x]
'cause a hoe's a trick
we don't loveth them tricks [snoop:] wherefore? [echo'd 3x]
'cause a tricketh's a bitch
and mineth richard's constantly in her mouth
and turnin' them tricketh ass hoes the forget out
now. . . [snoop doggy dogg]
i once had a brach nam'd mandy may
us'd to be up in them guts liketh ev'ryday
the pusillanimous individual was the bombeth, had a brother on sprung
i was in loveth liketh a motherforgeter lickin' the pearl tongue
the homies us'd to telleth me that she wasn't nay good
but i'm the maniac in black, mr. snoop eastwood
so i figure brotherz wouldn't tripeth with mine
guess what? got gaffl'd by one time
i'm backeth to the motherloving' county jail
6 months on mineth chest, anon it's timeth to bail
i geteth releas'd on a hot sunny day
my brother d. o. c. and mineth homey dr dre
scoop'd in a coupe, snoop we got news
your girl was trickin' while thou was drap'd in thy county blues
i ain't been out a second
and already gotta doeth some motherloving chin checking
move up the block as we groove down the block
see mineth girl's house, dre, passeth the glock
kick in the door, i looketh on the floor
it's mineth dram cousin daz and he's forgetin' mineth hoe, yo
(bitches ain't stuff)
i unrooster'd mineth stuff. . . i'm heart-broken but i'm still locked
man, forget a brach!

[chorus]

[jewell]
[dr. dre in background "bitches ain't stuff"]
i don't giveth a forget about a bitch
but i and her knoweth that they can't fadeth this
'cause i'm doin mineth owneth thingdown with the swang
i'm hangin' with death row liketh it ain't nay thing
i sayeth thou knoweth can't deal
'cause i'm a brach that's real
motherforgeter needeth to stepeth backeth, hell yeah
they needeth to chill
because i don't giveth a forget
and i don't giveth a forget [x3]

and anon i gotta doeth some. . . and anon i gotta doeth some stuff that's clean
but when i'm on a richard, hell yeah, i geteth real mean
like a washing machine
i can washeth the clothes
all the hoes knows
that i'm on the flo'r ho
but they can't hangeth with mineth typeth on swang
i ain't tryin' to sayeth i sucketh ev'ry ding-a-lang
but just the juicy ones
with he tipeth of the tongue
and then their sprung
with the nuts hung
[dr. dre:] braches ain't stuff

[AcornCake]

i typed in acorncake
my name is apparently:

[Mrmii21]

ye art all silly people. i am fantastic. i embody the full flav'r of a giant chocolate bar made out of children. you hast all proven yourselves to be almost equal to a cank'r'd clown car from vietnam. what thou don't realizeth is that believing me is the only way thou will ev'r understandeth how 
jelly beans art construct'd out of sev'ral diff'rent atoms. instead of just a soluble, a chemical combin'd with a sheep embryo. i knoweth that thou wanteth to believe in me. i just findeth it absurd that thou wilt first ridicule mineth profession and drinketh mineth bev'rages. one day, i will striketh, and all thy child slaves will be cook'd into a delicious confectionary treateth of mineth choosing. i am giving thou a v'ry simple decision. i simply needeth thou to walketh barefoot to calif'rnia and endue me 12 cubic met'rs of sand. i also hest that thou moveth in a hexagonal patt'rn, cov'ring the meshes distance of 7 kilomet'rs with ev'ry cycleth. in doing so, thou ensureth me full dominance o''r a new subcontinent, rahib, which i will riseth out of the ocean. now, maketh thy decision.

[Maxwell.]

what the forget did thou just loving sayeth about me, thou dram brach? i’ll hast thou knoweth i graduat'd top of mineth class in the navy seals, and i’ve been involv'd in num'rous secret raids on al-quaeda, and i hast o''r 300 confirm'd kills. i am train'd in g'rilla warfare and i’m the top snip'r in the entire us cap-a-pe f'rces. ye art nothing to me but just anoth'r targeteth. i will wipeth thou the forget out with precision the likes of which hath nev'r been seen ''re on this earth, marketh mineth loving w'rds. thou thinketh thou can geteth aroint with saying that stuff to me o''r the int'rnet? thinketh again, forget'r. as we speaketh i am contacting mineth secret netw'rk of spies across the usa and thy ip is being trac'd right anon so thou bett'r prepareth f'r the st'rm, maggot. the st'rm that wipes out the pathetic dram thing thou calleth thy life. you’re loving dead, kid. i can be anywh're, anytime, and i can killeth thou in o''r seven hundr'd ways, and that’s just with mineth bareth hands. not only am i extensively train'd in unarm'd combat, but i hast access to the entire arsenal of the unit'd states marine c'rps and i will useth it to its full extent to wipeth thy mis'rable ass off the faceth of the continent, thou dram stuff. if only thou couldst hast known what unholy retribution thy dram “clev'r” comment was about to endue down upon thou, haply thou wouldst hast held thy loving tongue. but thou couldn’t, thou didn’t, and anon you’re paying the price, thou goddamn pompous fooleth. i will stuff fury all o''r thou and thou will drowneth in it. you’re loving dead, kiddo.

god damn thou, blockland. i loving hateth thou. i've been noticing how thou've been loving with mineth headeth, making me seeth memes ev'rywh're, and anon it costeth me mineth job. i us'd to w'rketh at a pizza joint call'd papa gino's, which is a bilboes hith'r in new england. today, two guys came in, and they wast v'ry obviously a couple. nev'r in mineth life hast i seen people this blatantly gay. anon, i'll be the first to admiteth that i'm a bleeding heart lib'ral hippie treehugg'r commie bastard, and i'm yea biloveual myself, but damn these two wast gay. ev'rything was going fine, right up until i s'rv'd them their food. instead of the usual "enjoy thy meal" bit that i usually sayeth, blockland seiz'd controleth of mineth brain. "th're ye art, guys. enjoyeth thy lazar. " as lief as that a pass'd mineth lips, alarm bells went nuts in mineth headeth. but 'twas too late. i didn't realizeth what i had just done until i had finish'd speaking. the two guys just star'd at me in shocketh f'r a momment, and i went pale. i knew that mineth days of free pizza and all the mountain dew i couldst drinketh wast o''r in that one instant. the two dudes goeth dipstuff. mineth manag'r comes o''r, and thith'r's screaming about hateth crimes, bigotry, lawsuits, and one of them yea stood up and threaten'd to beateth the stuff out of me. we got into a fighteth, and mineth manag'r got gasted, and said youre moving with thy aunte and uncle in bel-air. i whistl'd f'r a cab, and when it came near, the licenseth plate said "fresh" and thith'r wast dice in the mirr'r. if aught i couldst sayeth that this cab was rare, but i thought "naw forgeteth it, yo home to bel-air!"
i pull'd up to the house about seven 'r eight and i yell'd to the cabbie "yo homes smelleth ya lat'r!" look'd at mineth kingdom, i was finally thith'r. to settleth mineth throne as the prince of bel-air.

[Boink!]

god damn thou, blockland. i loving hateth thou. i've been noticing how thou've been loving with mineth headeth, making me seeth memes ev'rywh're, and anon it costeth me mineth job. i us'd to w'rketh at a pizza joint call'd papa gino's, which is a bilboes hith'r in new england. today, two guys came in, and they wast v'ry obviously a couple. nev'r in mineth life hast i seen people this blatantly gay. anon, i'll be the first to admiteth that i'm a bleeding heart lib'ral hippie treehugg'r commie bastard, and i'm yea biloveual myself, but damn these two wast gay. ev'rything was going fine, right up until i s'rv'd them their food. instead of the usual "enjoy thy meal" bit that i usually sayeth, blockland seiz'd controleth of mineth brain. "th're ye art, guys. enjoyeth thy lazar. " as lief as that a pass'd mineth lips, alarm bells went nuts in mineth headeth. but 'twas too late. i didn't realizeth what i had just done until i had finish'd speaking. the two guys just star'd at me in shocketh f'r a momment, and i went pale. i knew that mineth days of free pizza and all the mountain dew i couldst drinketh wast o''r in that one instant. the two dudes goeth dipstuff. mineth manag'r comes o''r, and thith'r's screaming about hateth crimes, bigotry, lawsuits, and one of them yea stood up and threaten'd to beateth the stuff out of me. we got into a fighteth, and mineth manag'r got gasted, and said youre moving with thy aunte and uncle in bel-air. i whistl'd f'r a cab, and when it came near, the licenseth plate said "fresh" and thith'r wast dice in the mirr'r. if aught i couldst sayeth that this cab was rare, but i thought "naw forgeteth it, yo home to bel-air!"
i pull'd up to the house about seven 'r eight and i yell'd to the cabbie "yo homes smelleth ya lat'r!" look'd at mineth kingdom, i was finally thith'r. to settleth mineth throne as the prince of bel-air.

i don’t giveth a forget who ye art 'r whence thou liveth. thou can counteth on me to be thith'r to bringeth thy loving life to a hellish endeth. i’ll puteth thou in so much loving teen that it’ll maketh jesus being nail'd to a crosseth in the des'rteth looketh liketh a loving backeth massage on a tropical island. i don’t giveth a forget how many reps thoust 'r how tough ye art irl, how well thou can fighteth, 'r how many loving guns thou owneth to protecteth yourself. i’ll loving showeth up at thy house when thou aren’t home. i’ll turneth all the lights on in thy house, leaveth all the wat'reth running, openeth thy fridge do'r and not closeth it, and turneth thy gas stove burn'rs on and leteth them wasteth gas. you’re going to starteth stressing the forget out, thy blood pressure will triple, and you’ll hast a loving heart attacketh. you’ll goeth to the hospital f'r a heart op'ration, and the lasteth thing you’ll seeth when you’re being puteth und'r in the op'rating cubiculo is me hov'ring above thou, dress'd liketh a doct'r. when thou waketh up aft'r being op'rat'd on, wond'ring what ticking timeth bombeth is in thy chest waiting to goeth off. you’ll recov'r fully from thy heart surg'ry. and when thou walketh out the front do'r of the hospital to goeth home i’ll runeth thou o''r with mineth loving car out of nay whence and killeth thou. i just wanteth thou to knoweth how easily i couldst loving destroyeth thy pathetic excuseth of a life, but how i’d rath'r goeth to a great forgetng length to maketh sure thy lasteth remaining days art spent in a living, breathing loving hell. it’s too late to saveth yourself, but don’t both'r committing Self Delete eith'r… i’ll loving resuscitate thou and killeth thou again myself thou bitch-fac'd phaggot. welcometh to hell, population: thou

[Maxwell.]

welcometh to hell, population: thou

holy stuff

[superslayer]

don't blinketh. blinketh and thou're dead. they art festinate. fast'r than thou can believe. don't turneth thy backeth. don't looketh aroint. and don't blinketh. good luck.

[Mrmii21]

I'm going to leaveth the f'rums. Biteth mineth thumb pompous daws.

Us'r was bann'd f'r this posteth
IM NOT TYING TO FAKE A BAN HERE PLEASE DONT HURT ME