weird stories v1

[Xphifre]

once I was walking
i saw maxxi
he was loving a bag
god damnit maxxi dont forget any more bags!!!!

[Ad Bot]

[the hacker]

You should hear some of the conversations I have with Taya when I'm playing the Sims.

[Ikares]

It appears as if a wild Maxx is experiencing social problems.

Oh well. I'm loving weird, so, uh...

One day, in the fourth grade, while I was running to school I saw these two teenagers who were standing and laughing at me. They looked way too old to actually be at my school, so I called them friends and flipped them off. They looked shocked, then they backed up started laughing again. When I got to school that morning, everyone looked at me in class for some odd reason. There was some giggling. etc... Later on in the day, I swear I saw the same two teenagers in the hall talking to my principal. I literally shouted "Oh stuff!" out loud and I almost got caught. I really had to pee, so I ducked my head and ran into the boys bathroom. None of them even mentioned me, so I was fine. I peed and then looked at myself in the mirror. I saw nothing. I washed my hair out and continued back to class. People were still laughing at poor me. I then made an excuse to go to the bathroom again, the teacher frowned at me but gave me permission. So I run to the bathroom, look at myself from the back, and see stuff on my pants. I screamed as loud as possible "WHAT THE forget?!!" The hall monitor had to look for me, I hid in the bathroom so she didn't find me, but still, that was embarrassing. And as it turned out, those teenagers were students at the school closest to mine, and they saw the one I ran to, so they decided to be late for class and tell the principal.

I have no idea how stuff got on my pants, but I swear to god I didn't do it.

[Ikares]

Also, enjoy this masterpiece.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pz-S5sfusiw&feature=youtu.be

[Daswiruch]

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.

And that's when you met me.

"What... what happened?" You asked. "Where am I?"

"You died," I said, matter-of-factly. No point mincing words.

"There was a... a truck and it was skidding..."

"Yup." I said

"I... I died?"

"Yup. But don't feel bad about it. Everyone dies." I said.

You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. "What is this place?" You asked. "Is this the afterlife?"

"More or less," I said.

"Are you God?" You asked.

"Yup." I replied. "I'm God."

"My kids... my wife," you said.

"What about them?"

"Will they be alright?"

"That what I like to see," I said. "You just died and your main concern is for your family. That's good stuff right there."

You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn't look like God. I just looked like some man. Some vague authority figure. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.

"Don't worry," I said. "They'll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn't have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it's any consolation, she'll feel very guilty for feeling relieved."

"Oh," you said. "So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?"

"Neither," I said. "You'll be reincarnated."

"Ah," you said. "So the Hindus were right."

"All the religions are right in their own way," I said. "Walk with me."

You followed along as we strolled in the void. "Where are we going?" "Nowhere in particular," I said. "It's just nice to walk while we talk."

"So what's the point, then?" You asked. "When I get reborn, I'll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won't matter."

"Not so!" I said. "You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don't remember them right now."

I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. "Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It's like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it's hot or cold. You put a tiny part or yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you've gained all the experiences it had."

"You've been a human for the last 34 years, so you haven't stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for longer, you'd start remembering everything. But there's no point doing that between each life."

"How many times have I been reincarnated, then?"

"Oh, lots. Lots and lots. And into lots of different lives." I said. "This time around you'll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 A.D."

"Wait, what?" You stammered. "You're sending me back in time?"

"Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from."

"Where do you come from?" You pondered.

"Oh sure!" I explained. "I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you'll want to know what it's like there but you honestly won't understand."

"Oh." you said, a little let down. "But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, could I have interacted with myself at some point?"

"Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own timespan you don't even know it's happening."

"So what's the point of it all?"

"Seriously?" I asked. "Seriously? Your asking me for the meaning of life? Isn't that a little stereotypical?"

"Well it's a reasonable question." you persisted.

I looked in your eye. "The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature."

"You mean mankind? You want us to mature?"

"No. just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature, and become a larger and greater intellect"

"Just me? What about everyone else?"

"There is no one else," I said. "In this universe, there's just you, and me."

You stared blankly at me. "But all the people on earth..."

"All you. Different incarnations of you."

"Wait. I'm everyone!?"

"Now you're getting it." I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.

"I'm every human who ever lived?"

"Or who will ever live, yes."

"I'm Abraham Lincoln?"

"And you're John Wilkes Booth, too." I added.

"I'm Riddler?" you said, appalled.

"And you're the millions he killed."

"I'm Jesus?"

"And you're everyone who followed him."

You fell silent.

"Every time you victimized someone," I said, "You were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you've done, you've done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you."

"Why?" You asked me. "Why do all this?"

"Because someday, you will become like me. Because that's what you are. You're one of my kind. You're my child."

"Whoa." you said, incredulous. "You mean I'm a god?"

"No. Not yet. You're a fetus. You're still growing. Once you've lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born."

"So the whole universe," you said. "It's just..."

"An egg of sorts." I answered. "Now its time for you to move on to your next life."

And with that, I sent you on your way.

[Flame]

last night i had a dream where i was blind.

well, okay. it didn't really feel like a dream. i felt kinda conscious after falling asleep by accident. by this i mean i couldn't see, taste, hear, smell, or touch. but somehow i knew my surroundings, i knew i was asleep, and i was most certainly lucid.

for a minute, i thought i had a really weird lucid dream going on. i wandered around this large empty place that i can only describe it as... well, space. despite the fact i was blind, i could definitely see. it was a large open expanse full of shifting purple nebulae and i was standing on an invisible floor with more nebulae below me. it kind of felt like this:

close your eyes and imagine a tree. now imagine going up to that tree and feeling the bark. the bark is very detailed in your mind, isn't it? now climb the tree. feel the leaves. depending on what tree it is, you can tell if they're waxy or rough leaves when you touch them. you've created this tree in your mind and you can imagine yourself feeling it. who knows, perhaps you can feel the sunlight, or hear imaginary birds chirping nearby.

you aren't actually feeling or seeing anything, but to me, those visions were..oddly vivid.

if that wasn't weird, i wasn't alone. i don't know WHAT they were, but they were following me. there were these odd beings that i can't even BEGIN to describe that followed me around. they weren't hostile, more like.. curious. but they hurt my head if they got too close to me (which was the only sensation i could actually "feel"), so i avoided them and explored until one of those things caught up to me and gave me a swift punch through the gut.

its fist literally went through my stomach and out my back. for a moment i "thought-felt" a searing pain, but then it became almost real. my weird vision-sight-thing faded to black and i instantly woke up.

and, as soon as i woke up, i vomited. a lot.

so much so that i had to miss school today. i don't know what the hell happened or how a dream made me puke, but it was definitely the weirdest dream i have had yet.

[Zack]

im bored and i wanted to create this so go
dont call me stupid pls
but anyway now on to the story

my throat hurt like loving christ about 2 weeks ago at night
it was 3am and i already had taken like 20-25 halls menthol stuff
and it gave me a little woozy feeling like i was floaty and stuff
idk how but i came up with the idea of loving a bag
so i went downstairs, grabbed a jewel bag and began to start
it felt really weird but ok after about ten minutes it felt alright
20 minutes in my richard just hurt so bad
like it felt as if the muscle was terrifyingly painful
i went to bed, woke up and it was ok

anyway share some weird stuff that has happened to you in the past like year or something
i wanted to share that because im really tired and i want to clear my head because i want to do some things

Was it a....

Tea jewel Bag?

AAHHAHAHA oh god I had to. Sorry.

[Bears]

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9343276/1/Dead-Space-4-Too-Much-Poop
So, found this beautiful fanfic. Click on it.

[Maxxi]

It appears as if a wild Maxx is experiencing social problems.

Oh well. I'm loving weird, so, uh...

One day, in the fourth grade, while I was running to school I saw these two teenagers who were standing and laughing at me. They looked way too old to actually be at my school, so I called them friends and flipped them off. They looked shocked, then they backed up started laughing again. When I got to school that morning, everyone looked at me in class for some odd reason. There was some giggling. etc... Later on in the day, I swear I saw the same two teenagers in the hall talking to my principal. I literally shouted "Oh stuff!" out loud and I almost got caught. I really had to pee, so I ducked my head and ran into the boys bathroom. None of them even mentioned me, so I was fine. I peed and then looked at myself in the mirror. I saw nothing. I washed my hair out and continued back to class. People were still laughing at poor me. I then made an excuse to go to the bathroom again, the teacher frowned at me but gave me permission. So I run to the bathroom, look at myself from the back, and see stuff on my pants. I screamed as loud as possible "WHAT THE forget?!!" The hall monitor had to look for me, I hid in the bathroom so she didn't find me, but still, that was embarrassing. And as it turned out, those teenagers were students at the school closest to mine, and they saw the one I ran to, so they decided to be late for class and tell the principal.

I have no idea how stuff got on my pants, but I swear to god I didn't do it.

im not experiencing social issues im just really bor-

Also, enjoy this masterpiece.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pz-S5sfusiw&feature=youtu.be

i loving love you no homo

[Filipe]

The things people do when they're bored...

[the hacker]

I should gather up the embarrassing almanac of my elementary school love life. There's some interesting stories there.

[Torin0101]

im sorry

[Georges]

I swear last night I dreamed about some guy trying to drown himself in an egg

I don't even know

[YounqD]

I was walking down the stair and 2 girls stopped me and wanted to talk. This is how the convo went

Girl #1 : Hi

Me : What's up?

Girl #1 : Nothing what's your name?

Me : *Tells my name*

Girl #1 : Oh okay my name is Kayla. (She then tells Girl # 2 to say her name)

Girl #2 : My name is (I don't remember lol)

Me : Oh okay nice to meet you guys

Girl #1 : Yeah, why do you dress like that? (referring to why I wear bowties because i've worn a bowtie almost everyday since the beginning of school)

Me : Because that's just what I like to wear other people have their own style and I have mine.

This is where it begins to get weird..

Girl #2 : Oh okay that's cool, umm can you show me your ankle?

Me : What? you want me to show you my ankle?

Girl #2 : Yeah I want to see it.

Me : (I had on long socks and jeans so i didnt feel like showing the my ankle if it meant extra work.) Haha, no i can't show you my ankle.

Girl #1 : Oh okay then can you show me your elbow?

Me : (I had on a business shirt with a cardigan so that wasn't going to happen either.) Nope can't do that either.

Girl #1 : Alright then, so do you have a woman? (Bell rings) i guess you can say i was saved by the bell

I left as soon as possible that was so weird i didn't want to stay near them any more

[K1ng_0f_N0thing]

Well, I once dreamed that the New York Rangers won the Stanley Cup. You know it's a dream when they win the cup. (Hockey fans will get this, since I'm a Devils fan)