I've always had this feeling of me not being me anymore, like losing yourself. When someone tells you to grow up, it hits you hard. Not being able to spend as much time with your loved ones, or seeing your loved ones change like you are. You essentially become a different person, and while the old you is still sitting there being commanded by a much higher, oppressive force. Having no control over myself whatsoever. At this point in time, im just along for the ride, all my decisions come from a "act now think later" policy that I can't control now.