i know we all have problems, and i get that having a different state of mind will make you say different things
but this just seems like something that could've been solved by you thinking before you posted. forums are one of the few places where you can addend anything you say. it's obvious you care about what people think about you, else you wouldn't have made such an elaborate apology.
i was feeling very suicidal and depressed at times a year ago, but i didn't let those feelings seep into what i said here because i actually read over what i had typed, and hit preview. if i hadn't retracted a lot of comments i potentially could've made i'd probably be considered one of the more venomous forumers here, but because i looked over what i said and thought "that's not what i really think, i'm using my gut instead of my brain", i'm not.
and you don't need to construct a massive apology thread, just say you're sorry to the person directly. it'll ultimately mean more and will make you look less like an attention-seeker.