Author Topic: in kind of a rut here (need advice)  (Read 1358 times)

it seems like the whole way i think of him has changed.
in what way

in what way

i feel uncomfortable talking to him because of this

anyway you should tell him that you want to stop talking to him. he doesn't need someone like you in his life
Don't do this.

You may do yourself some emotional good for doing this, but it puts your friend in a bad place.  In doing so, you choose not to accept him for what he identifies with, and at the same time, break up a friendship over something that he views as something so fundamentally a part of him.  Rejecting him would be rather richardish.

Two questions:
  1.  How long have you been friends?
  2.  I remember you saying a few times that you are Christian.  Is this true?  (Not trying to start stuff.  I am myself, so I wonder if speaking on biblical terms would be of any help.)

i feel uncomfortable talking to him because of this
what about it is uncomfortable
note: it is said in a 'caring psychologist asking you a question' kind of way

yeah i'm a christian, and like i said in op, 10 years.

in what way
what about it is uncomfortable
note: it is said in a 'caring psychologist asking you a question' kind of way
I think it's kinda like when there is some big surprise/reveal in a book - its the same story, but now you look at it from a different angle

that can kinda be applied to OP's friend, he is still the same guy but OP is now looking at him slightly different


I think it's kinda like when there is some big surprise/reveal in a book - its the same story, but now you look at it from a different angle

that can kinda be applied to OP's friend, he is still the same guy but OP is now looking at him slightly different
makes sense


good luck to you hillkill

i was raised by a homophobic family. so i could see the sort of family values. but i have a few gay/bi friends, and nothing seems different. maybe its because i knew they were gay/bi?

You can still be friends, at least he's not hitting on you.

Another guy I know came out to his friend, but then followed that up with "and I think you're kinda attractive."

if he said that to me, there would be no questions, i'd be gone.

i don't think i'm homophobic, even though it grosses me out.
i feel uncomfortable talking to him because of this
if he said that to me, there would be no questions, i'd be gone.
sorry to burst your bubble, but i think you might be homophobic.

but i dont want to be homophobic. i don't want to hate people for what they can't prevent.

you don't have to hate them, just tolerate them

yeah i'm a christian
Well, as it has been said before "love the sinner, hate the sin," and though it is a controversial topic, I shall say my personal stance on it, since it is not my place to put words in God's mouth.  The act of homoloveuality is a sin in my opinion, and it falls under any of the other categories of sin (adultery, lying, envy, etc.).  Many people are brought up in an atmosphere that promotes habitual lying, envy, adultery, etc. to the point where they may believe that such acts are okay.  It is the same with homoloveuality.  It is an ongoing temptation or mindset that humans fall prey to.

Now I know that there are many forumers here who identify as homo, bi, panloveual etc., and while I view these acts as sin, I am no more free from sin, nor does the bible state that there are any "degrees of sin." "He who transgresses in one transgresses in all, for he who transgresses and breaks the Law."  I don't love you all any less for it.

If I offend anyone here I am sorry.  Not everything that has to be said is what makes everyone happy.

and like i said in op, 10 years.
Sorry, my mistake.

if he said that to me, there would be no questions, i'd be gone.
Just continue being his friend, however, you should be very candid and say to him that if this friendship were to continue, you would not be comfortable with any further relationships.