I shower.
I slowly get in, getting acclimatised to to the temperature of the water.
Then I reach for my shampoo bottle.
Then I put it down, because I realise it's the conditioner.
Then I pick up the shampoo bottle.
I apply some to my hands and rub it into my hair and get a good lather going on.
Wash it all out.
Repeat, because chances are the shampoo hasn't actually spread evenly to all of my hair anyway.
Wash it all out.
Pick up my Comb.
Run comb through my hair backwards, practically ripping strands out when it encounters knots.
Reach for my conditioner.
Put it back down, because I realise it's the shampoo (the dangers of buying same-brand shampoo & conditioner)
Pick up conditioner, apply some to the comb.
Comb the conditioner into my hair backwards.
Lower the shower-head so I don't accidentally drench my hair.
Grab my showergel and
sponge-flower-thingApply Gel to sponge, and start scrubbing down my right leg, from arse to toe.
Repeat with left leg, possibly re-apply gel.
Repeat with torso, from waist up to neck.
Repeat with left arm and then give a good scrub to left armpit.
Repeat with right arm, and good scrub to right armpit.
Flail about trying to clean my own back.
Worry that there's some rotten spot in the middle of my back I've not managed to reach and wash since my parents used to bathe me as a child.
Zone out because that last thought led me on a trail of thoughts.
Decide to give me bum a thorough clean.
Wash any remaining soap off of my body.
Stand underneath the shower head, having raised it again.
Grab comb, and comb out the conditioner in my hair.
Enjoy that smooth slick feeling.
Gel up my hands and get a lather going on.
Head on down to Genital Town.
Give the ol' carpet a deepclean.
Clean off the spacehopper.
Give the family jewels a good polish, everywhere. (That's right circumsiced scum, it's possible to clean an entire snake, foreskin and all).
Wash my self and my little self off under the water.
Relax for a moment.
Step out, and feel the cold on my bare bum.
Celebrate living in God's Country.