THE GRAND STOCK IMAGE ADVENTURE

[IkeTheGeneric]

The year is 20XX, you, Interchangeable White Male, are just now waking up on Saturday, January 15th. You are dreaming about flying through the sky...

: Man, I'm so high up!
: I wish I would never wake up... Wait, the forget is that sound?

All of a sudden, you age fifty years and look up and see a bunch of birds... Ringing birds... Ringing endlessly... ring.. ring....
*RIIING*

: ABBBFBL-GAH!


: Why did I set it for five-thirty?
: I should sleep in for a bit...


You awaken in your bedroom, located in your expensive apartment studio that you're sharing with a couple friends. The time is 5:03 AM, and you have to go to work at 7:30 AM. You need to make up breakfast, take a shower and get dressed. You hear your cellphone ringing. What do you do?

[Ad Bot]

[SquartleTurtle]

use ringing phone as vibrator

[Jubel]

have a salad with a goldfish

[Nonnel]

use ringing phone as vibrator

[IkeTheGeneric]

use ringing phone as vibrator

Your phone was set to the "ULTRA VIBRATE" setting for just this occasion. In the grand scheme of things, you maybe shouldn't have stuck your phone up your starfish and it got sucked right in. You have lost your phone to the brown town abyss, never daring to return to the realm of the living.

have a salad with a goldfish

Just what kind of nutjob are you to kill and eat your favorite pet, Greg the Goldfish? He's stuck it with you through thick and thin. Besides, you don't even eat seafood for breakfast. You heard on some show that it can cause cancer.

A couple minutes pass and you hear the home phone ring...

[Nonnel]

use it as a vibrator
or answer it if you're a friend (((which you are)))

[IkeTheGeneric]

use it as a vibrator

You attempt to use the home phone as a vibrator, but it gets stuck halfway. It's agonizing and you decide to take it out.

answer it if you're a friend (((which you are)))

: Hello?
: Who is this?!
: It's me, your boss.
: Why is your avatar box red?
: Because I'm your enemy. Boxes are color-coded based on my social standing with you.
: But technicalities aside, you need to give me your actual name now...
: Care to tell me why?
: We're transferring employee data to a computer and we need your real name.
: Oh, okay. It's... uh...

stuff! You don't actually have a real name! Quick, you have to make up a name for him to use!

[Biohazard]

CORNELIUS brown townPHONE

[IkeTheGeneric]

CORNELIUS brown townPHONE

: My name is Cornelius brown townphone. The last part is because I have a phone up my star fish.
: I mean it was a good ruse up until the last part. What the forget is wrong with you?
: No, I seriously have a phone up my star fish.

He isn't buying it, you may have to think of something else!

[Trogtor]

buttfungus chimperson

[IkeTheGeneric]

buttfungus chimperson

: Buttfungus chimpers-
: OK, you know what? Cornelius brown townphone it is.
: Alright, that's all we need. Listen, you have about sixteen vacation days saved up:
: And you sound like you're having a bad day, on account of being a complete loving idiot.
: Why don't you... uh... stay home today?
: Sure thing, boss!

WOO! Day off! You have the WHOLE DAY to yourself! What do you do?

[Tumbleweed]

use phone as vibrator

[tber123]

Go check the garage for your car

[Nonnel]

use your vibrator as a phone and order a pizza

[Biohazard]

Go check the garage for your car

use the car's engine as a vibrator