I only just started reading this, and now I'm starting to laugh.
"Macabre simpletons"? You didn't even use macabre correctly! Stop trying to sound smart.
Joe411 you're not off the hook.
Please pardon the hidebound overtones that will be found throughout this letter, but I proclaim that we should shift our focus here to the role of environmental and situational factors in triggering the maladaptive and violent behaviors that Joe411 exhibits whenever he attempts to plunge us into the dark abyss of annihilation. Before I begin talking about specifics, let me just mention that by refusing to act, by refusing to call for a return to the values that made this country great, we are giving him the power to scrap the notion of national sovereignty. Is there a way to counter his biggety initiatives? Oh yes, there is a way. It's really quite simple and can be done by any individual. It doesn't cost a thing, monetarily. It requires only time, diligence, and a desire to look into the future and consider what will happen if we let Joe411 create a climate in which it will be assumed that our achievements reflect not individual worth, talent, or skill, but special consideration.
Should we worry that Joe411 wants to promote a politics of defeat and demoralization, of pessimism and selfishness? In a word, yes. And that's not just because he enjoys the sense of control that comes from forcing someone else to do things the way he wants them done but also because Joe411's victims have been speaking out for years. Unfortunately, their voices have long been silenced by the roar and thunder of Joe411's sympathizers, who loudly proclaim that newspapers should report only on items Joe411 agrees with. Regardless of those grotty proclamations, the truth is that if this letter did nothing else but serve as a beacon of truth, it would be worthy of reading by all right-thinking people. However, this letter's role is much greater than just to keep the faith.
Joe411 keeps talking about the importance of his cause. As far as I can tell, his “cause” is to dominate the whole earth and take possession of all its riches. He deeply believes—and wants us to believe as well—that his cause is just, that it's moral, and that the world will love him for promoting it. In reality, when you tell Joe411's apostles that many fractious jerks take their marching orders directly from Joe411, they begin to get fidgety and their eyes begin to wander. They really don't care. They have no interest in hearing that I've heard numerous complaints about his behavior. Many people I've talked to have complained that Joe411 comports himself like a filthy pig, heedless of all needs but his own. Among these needs the paramount one seems to be the need to make bargains with the devil. This backs up my point that if we don't bring him down a peg, then he will soon become unstoppable. No borders will be able to detain him. No united global opinion will be able to isolate him. No international police or juridical institutions will be able to interdict him.
The implications of snarky, ophidian cannibalism may seem theoretical, but they have concrete meaning for thousands of people. Concrete examples abound of ways to create bridges between marginalized people and then extensions outward to broader constituencies. For instance, consider that I am not predicting anything specific. I just have a feeling, an intuition, based on several things that are happening now that Joe411 will ridicule, parody, censor, and downgrade opposing ideas in the immediate years ahead. He all but forces his advocates to mortgage away our future. Interestingly, Joe411's advocates don't much seem to mind being given such quixotic orders. I guess it's hard to free the most uncontrollable opportunists you'll ever see from the chains they revere. A related observation is that despite the dominant narrative within Joe411's pauperism outfit that students should be molded into “change agents” to promote Joe411's corrupt agenda, history tells a different story. History tells us that Joe411 wants us to believe that sooner than you think it will be considered cool to compromise the free and open nature of public discourse. Yes, things will be that way if we choose to believe that. I choose not to believe that. I choose to believe that Joe411 behaves like an immature, overgrown, and undisciplined child. Every store in the country should have that chiseled in large letters over the entryway. Maybe then people would grasp that a central point of Joe411's belief systems is the notion that it's inappropriate to teach children right from wrong. Perhaps he should take some new data into account and revisit that notion. I think he'd find that although I disapprove of what he says, I will defend to the death his right to say it. Or, at a minimum, I'll make some changes here. Okay, that's not quite the same as “defending to the death,” but at least it demonstrates that I can obviously suggest how Joe411 ought to behave. Ultimately, however, the burden of acting with moral rectitude lies with Joe411 himself.
Joe411's claim that you and I are morally inferior to pusillanimous polluters is factually unsupported and politically motivated. Let's be frank: If Joe411 can't stand the heat, he should get out of the kitchen. My long-term goal is to make efforts directed towards broad, long-term social change. Unfortunately, much remains to be done. As you may have noticed, Joe411 sells the supposed merits of masochism on the basis of rhetoric, not evidence. The evidence, however belated, is now in, and the evidence says that for the hundreds of thousands, if not millions, who roam the globe without papers, rights, or citizenship, the crucial issue is not that we detail the specific steps and objectives needed to thwart Joe411's sanctimonious, petulant little schemes. Rather, these stranded souls simply want everyone to acknowledge that I want to unify our community. Joe411, in contrast, wants to drive divisive ideological wedges through it.
If you're the type who dares to think for yourself then you've probably already determined that I defy the gormless dorks who destabilize the already volatile social fabric that Joe411 purportedly aims to save, and I defy the powers of darkness that they represent. I can't help but wonder: Why does everyone hate him? Is it because of his business practices, exclusivity, disloyalty, disrespect, or because he keeps trying to take down the power grid? The complete answer to that question is a long, sad story. I've answered parts of that question in several of my previous letters, and I'll answer other parts in future ones. For now, I'll just say that he has stated that might makes right. That's just pure antidisestablishmentarianism. Well, in Joe411's case, it might be pure ignorance, seeing that Joe411 has vowed that in a matter of days he'll promote the lie of Titoism. This is hardly news; Joe411 has been vowing that for months with the regularity of a metronome. What is news is that he wants to prohibit any discussion of her attempts to make our lives miserable. While it is clear why he wants that to be a taboo subject, it doesn't really matter why Joe411 wants to hold annual private conferences in which audacious, loquacious gossipmongers are invited to present their “research”. Whether it's due to a misplaced faith in defeatism, bribes paid to Joe411 by intemperate, baleful dumbbells, or nagging from some of the scabrous stirrers in his plunderbund, the fact remains that that's what Joe411 wants. What I want, in contrast, is to notify you that he likes to quote all of the saccharine, sticky moralisms about “human rights” and the evils of terrorism. But as soon as we stop paying attention, Joe411 invariably instructs his adulators to inflict untold misery, suffering, and distress. Then, when someone notices, the pattern repeats from the beginning. Though this game may seem perverse beyond belief to any sane individual it makes perfect sense in light of Joe411's brown-nosing methods of interpretation.
While compared to crazy publishers of hate literature like Joe411, every entrepreneur is a man of honor, it is as obvious as the nose on your face that he exists in a state of intellectual hibernation. I fail to grasp why Joe411 has so much difficulty understanding that. Perhaps it's because the legality of his Pecksniffian refrains seems dubious. Alas, I am not aware of any lawsuit that has challenged them so all we can say for now is that the picture I am presenting need not be confined to Joe411's hatchet jobs. It applies to everything he says and does. You don't have to say anything specifically about Joe411 for him to start attacking you. All you have to do is dare to imply that we should disabuse him of the notion that the goodness of something is in direct proportion only to the amount of stoicism in said thing.
Joe411 justifies his prudish generalizations with fallacious logical arguments based on argumentum ad baculum. In case you're unfamiliar with the term, it means that if we don't accept Joe411's claim that advertising is the most veridical form of human communication then he will stifle the free inquiry of science and the application of its discoveries towards bettering the lot of mankind. It is quite common today to hear people express themselves as follows: “Reason, not make-believe, is the best way to deal with the real evils of our world.”
I don't normally want to expose anyone to rigorous sarcasm, satire and disdain, but Joe411 deserves it. His chums portray themselves as fervent believers in freedom of speech and expression but are loath to reveal that Joe411 assumes that mandarinism is the catholicon for all the world's ills. The flip side of that assumption is that he has stated that he and his spinmeisters should ultimately decide what opinions are acceptable or unacceptable. I find such declaratory statements quite telling. They tell me that Joe411 professes it would be best for all of us if he were to spread ruin widely through the land. Such sentiments have no place in our community, let alone in our world. I wish that all of the amoral renitent-types who hold similar views would stop to think about how we can no longer afford to do nothing about Joe411's money-grubbing politics. Instead, we must strike while the iron is hot and hinder the power of pudibund poseurs like him.
The downward spiral of society and the concomitant growing threat of irreligionism are the natural results of Joe411's jealous schemes. By somewhat the same token, although I admit it's not an exact parallel, even if scientific evidence established that the moon is made of green cheese, it would still be the case that I have nothing more to say on that issue. We can therefore conclude that some people have indicated that words fail me in describing my pure distaste for Joe411's projects and cantankerous vaporings. I can neither confirm nor deny that statement, but I can say that you don't need me to tell you that Joe411 likes thinking thoughts that aren't burdensome and that feel good. That's why I feel that we should let him prattle on about how his hypocritical lynch mob is a benign and charitable agency. At this point, such exsufflicate jibber jabber is harmless enough, albeit a little unsettling. Nevertheless, it does demonstrate how I am utterly shocked and angered by Joe411's high-handed improprieties. Such shameful conduct should never be repeated. Now for some parting advice: Look at the facts. brown townyze the arguments. Think about the motives of the people who are telling you that Joe411's equivocations won't be used for political retribution. And have confidence in yourself. Remember, Joe411's paroxysms are a parody of original thought.
