As a PR spokeperson, I'd like to take some time to explain, with respect, why I think your speech is stuff.
Hello everybody. Today, I will be explaining the history of the Playstation console.
A piss-poor intro that put me to sleep almost immediately. You need to add a bit of flair and show people that you're a confident son-of-a-gun who isn't just in the class to be an average, dull lout. Be forgetin' excited! Start off with a question that you can loop back and answer at the end of your speech. Don't be afraid to be loud; it's the difference between you getting great grades because the teacher actually listened to what you were saying and all the students hating you because you're wasting their time by being boring.
Now, I bet that every single person in this room has heard about Playstation consoles, whether it be on social media, from friends, television, or maybe you’re just a person that loves to play video games, like me.
NEVER, EVER, EVER assume who knows what. I mean, yes, it's gotta be difficult these days in the first world to not know what a Playstation is, but it's more exciting when you "introduce" the audience to this "new concept". Of course, don't treat them like complete idiots, but give them a nice foundation to start on.
Something like; "I personally think that Sony's line of incredible gaming machines, the Playstations, are a damn interesting point of discussion. But what exactly is a Playstation? Where did it come from? Why is it that people all yell and scream when its network goes down?"
Of course, you should write it to sound less forced, more natural, and you should reference the assessment question/statement. That way the teacher knows you were paying attention and you cash some extra marks.
The Playstation didn’t always have the signature black color that we all know and love today.
A flimsy statement. Why should anybody care about the colour of the console? Dive deeper. If you have a presentation with you, do a two-slide comparision; show a HD game and a PS1-era game, and ask the audience to consider just how far we've come in terms of technology in such a short amount of time.
In fact, I doubt anybody here knows about the very first Playstation.
This sounds extremely insulting to the audience. Don't say this. Instead, suggest that you'd like to tell the audience about what you know of where the Playstation began.
In the late 1980s and early 90s, Sony and Nintendo, two large companies
What? Who? Not really enough detail here. Make sure you mention the fact that Nintendo was a gaming giant responsible for salvaging the games market post-crash, and that prior to this deal Sony had very little to do with video games. It sounds more dramatic and keeps the audience entertained.
attempted to design their own video game console. They did not want to make another cartridge console like the previous consoles, such as the Super Nintendo Entertainment System.
You should be specific; what problems did they identify with cartridges? Also, remember to mention how big the SNES was with specific sales figures of the time.
Sony and Nintendo designed a console that read discs, like all consoles today.
Of course all loving consoles use discs today. Don't say that. Instead, insist that CD-technology was almost unheard of in the console market, and was still fairly new to PCs of the time. Give your audience context so they can understand why this is a big deal.
This was called the Super Disc. It would have been a great console, but it failed due to licensing problems.
You have no such basis to make that claim. Don't do it. Also, licensing problems? You have to be specific. Instead, mention that Nintendo and Sony had a falling out over how the technology was to be used; that Sony kept the tech for themselves while Nintendo partnered with Panasonic to make the 3DO.
In 1991, Sony announced the Play Station, branded with a space. It originally was planned to play music and movies, as well as games.
Jazz this up a bit. It's quite dull.
Only 200 units were made before Sony decided to redesign it entirely. None were sold that are known, and only prototype images can be found. It’s virtually impossible to buy one on the internet, let alone find it up for auction. Nobody knows if an actual copy still exists to this day.
Every time I read these sentences, they seem like quite a confusing mess. "None were sold that are know"? The forget does that mean?
Reorganise the sentence. Establish that 200 units were developed and that Sony made a huge gamble, scrapped the plans, stopped production and COMPLETELY redesigned the entire system. Don't worry about mentioning the rarity of the prototype consoles; nobody will care. The big thing you need to push is just how much drama happened to get the Playstation to market.
Finally, in the December of 1994, the [click] Playstation, or PSX for short
That's a loving lie. The PSX is a specific type of Playstation One unit. Do not tell your audience lies.
Make this statement more exciting, too. Use "At long last, after what must have seemed like an eternity," or something similar.
was released in Japan, and put on the North American and European market in the September of 1995. It was an instant success. The original PSX sold millions of copies, but had an unpleasant boxy shape.
You've got quite an issue here. The last sentence has two points that are completely unrelated to each other.
Firstly, use specific numbers to back up your "instant success" line. It makes it seem like you actually did the research. Secondly, "unpleasant" is your opinion. Instead, say that Sony made another key decision to redesign the shape of the console to avoid the boxy-design of its competitors and establish further uniqueness in the market.
That’s when Sony decided to release the PS One in 2000, which featured a rounder body that made it more portable.
Portable? It's a loving home console that has to be attached to an AC adapter. Leave that bit out. It sounds contradictory and it'll confuse people who will think the PS One was a portable game device like the Gameboy.
This resulted in much more profit for Sony, who were and still are music and film industry giants.
And? Why does it matter that they were in those industries? It's irrelevant to the console, so leave it out. If you're going to say "much more profit", once again quote specific sales numbers, or leave it out.
After 6 years of the original PlayStation, it was time for something new.
That's not cheesy as forget.
Technology was more advanced, and even Microsoft entered the video game industry with their XBOX. So, in 2000, Sony released the PlayStation 2.
Do you have any history of this? Something to show you know a little more than console names?
You can already tell that they aren’t too creative in making console names.
These kinds of forced jokes are amazing at killing your audience's retention. Drop the joke because it's absolutely not funny.
As of 2012, over 155 million units were sold. This puts the PS2 at the very top of the best selling video game consoles list.
Finally, some loving statistics. Can you find numbers for its release? So you can make a comparison and show how the console has sold over time? Also, mention why 2012 is the year you were counting to (obviously because survey data is slow, but still).
In 2005, Sony decided to announce a new console, and them being the creative people they are, they named it the PlayStation 3.
Firstly, don't ever say "X decided to announce Y". It implies the decision was random. Once again, find some research about why/how the PS3 came into being.
Secondly, forget YOU. If you seriously let these name jokes slip in, I'll gut myself.
It featured far more advanced graphics, better games, and an online network called the Playstation Network.
Make sure you do a comparison, because nobody is going to believe you. Better games? Subjective. Advanced Graphics really needs visual cues. Also, you need to mention that the PS2 laid the foundation for online multiplayer; games like Ratchet & Clank 2 and Gran Turismo 3 all supported online features.
Really creative, again.
You disgust me.
Although it was a good console
Does your school really let you get away with subjective statements?
it cost $100 more than the rival XBOX 360. Even though the pricing was different, the PS3 sold relatively well.
Then why the forget did you mention the price gap like a negative thing, only to say it didn't matter? Be consistent. Tell people about the negative reaction to the price, and how hard Sony had to work to claw themselves back up.
Two other variants were made as well, both making the console slimmer and more energy efficient.
Name them, price them, time them.
In 2011 though, the Playstation Network was broken into by hackers and it had to be shut down for over a month. Credit card numbers and personal information of over 77 million members were stolen.
Alright, this is decent. You have statistics, no subject statements. You may want to name the hackers, but otherwise you're doing oka...
This caused many people to buy an XBOX to avoid another major hack.
...are you loving with me? Where's the evidence to support this? Throw this line out; it's pure garbage. If it was meant to be a joke, it's not funny.
Even though the PS3 and the XBOX 360 were the two main consoles on the market, they were both beaten in sales by the Nintendo Wii, which sold just over 100 million units.
That's a subjective statement; the Nintendo Wii is usually deemed to be just as big as the Xbox 360 and the PS3. Do mention how much sales it made in comparison to the PS3, but don't say the Wii is not a main console.
The latest home console was released in late 2013, which was called the Playstation 4.
Specific date?
What a surprise.
You are loving the ink sack of a rancid squid.
As of March 2015, it sold 22 million units, and that number is still rising to this day.
Anything else to add? Seems like this statement was really quick as opposed to the other ones. Why does the PS4 matter?
Over the years, the Playstation has been deemed as the most influential and popular video game console of all time.
This statement arrived so fast; it was like being slammed into a brick wall at 100 km/h. You need to pace the speech better so you come to the conclusion nice and gently, as opposed to just slamming on the breaks. Also, evidence to to it being influential and popular? You need to restate any important points you made in your speech, to remind people who have been falling asleep.
After all, three of their four consoles are in the top 5 best selling consoles of all time. That’s an achievement that all video game companies dream about.
Good, but not really a powerful ending. It makes me feel kind of empty inside. A great speech needs a damn good ending that lets you say "YES. THIS IS WHY WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT IS AWESOME/stuff, AND WHY I AM RIGHT ABOUT IT AND WHY YOU SHOULD CARE." Think about your ending far more carefully in future.
Last note; your Powerpoint should be entirely visually. NOBODY READS WORDS ON A POWERPOINT. If they are, they aren't listening to you, and that means you're losing marks. Do yourself a favour, and only use relevant images in your powerpoint. Make sure you go first, second or third, be confident and be wary of your pacing. Forget the time; just make sure that your delivery is consistent.
