and the racial arguments begin in 3...2...1...
Where, oh where, should I begin telling you about how raffish Black People is? How about here: Black People's message is apparently that boosterism is a sine qua non for mankind's happiness. Before I begin talking about specifics, let me just mention that this is not the place to develop that subject. It demands many pages of brown townysis, which I can't spare in this letter. Instead, I'll just state the key point, which is that whenever there's an argument about its devotion to principles and to freedom, all one has to do is point out that it is doubtlessly not the intention of Heaven to let it turn our nation into a “totalitarian theocracy” devoted to the secular state religion of nepotism. That should settle the argument pretty quickly.
It is well known that Black People exhibits an overweening sense of entitlement and a predilection for depreciating others. But “Black People” has now become part of my vocabulary. Whenever I see someone shackling us with the chains of totalism, I tell him or her to stop “Black People-ing”. This in mind, I would like to advance a clear, credible, and effective vision for dealing with our present dilemma and its most out-of-touch manifestations. For all of the foregoing reasons, I can confidently claim that Black People has inadvertently provided us with an instructive example that I find useful in illustrating certain ideas. By detaching individuals from traditional sources of strength and identity—family, class, private associations—Black People makes it clear that there's a lot of daylight between its views and mine. Black People believes that disruptive passéists are all inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive while I insist that its retinue has its own, liberticidal slogan. That slogan is, “Spoon-feed us Black People's pabulum”. What this slogan lacks in wit, it makes up for in its ability to censor by caricature and preempt discussion by stereotype.
It doesn't really matter why Black People wants to draw unsuspecting cacafuegos into the orbit of reckless rixatrixes. Whether it's due to a misplaced faith in clericalism, bribes paid to Black People by the most avaricious prevaricators I've ever seen, or nagging from some of the flighty blaggards in its lynch mob, the fact remains that that's what Black People wants. What I want, in contrast, is to notify you that it's like the man behind the curtain in the Wizard of Oz. Pull back the curtain of escapism and you'll see a pestilential deadhead hiding behind it, furiously pulling the levers of antidisestablishmentarianism in a flippant, dirty attempt to encourage and exacerbate passivity in some people who might otherwise be active and responsible citizens. That sort of discovery should make any sane person realize that we are a nation of prostitutes. By this I mean that as long as we are fat, warm, and dry we don't care what Black People does. It is precisely that lack of caring that explains why Black People accuses me of being impolite in my responses to its disaffected blanket statements. Let's see: It disgorges its disparaging and arrogant comments on a topic of which it is wholly ignorant, and it expects a polite reply? What is it, temulent? Let me end by saying that I know that what I have written in this letter will send many readers (especially any who are big fans of Black People) into a tizzy or a tantrum. I am sorry, but I remind them that with Black People's fairy tales, simple credos like “check your sources” and “argue the other side of the question” have gone out the window.