i solved the goofy model problem by
a) turning of double-sided faces (for my purposes, i needed players to see inside the sphere as well, so i made another mesh inside and flipped faces, which had strange effects on the model when opaque, but when transparent it works perfectly)
b) exporting with triangles rather than triangle strips
c) exported the material as translucent (unsure of the effect this had toward the end result)
now, the collision is still a problem. i know torque doesn't like concave collision meshes but i don't think that should be a problem with something that is a sphere. to my understanding, that's one of the most convex things on the planet so idk wtf is goin on with this
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/11058668/asd/smoothSphere.blendpls help
vehicles
kinda collide with something, but whatever they collide with doesn't quite appear to be the collision mesh and it doesn't scale with the object. the most important thing is that projectiles will collide, though.