Most of the Hitmen services are actually stings or scams. Further, the Deep Web is a loving horrible place to go to. One of my (former) friends on the PSN got caught trying to buy drugs via it.
don't poke the serious stuff.
also, this thread is stuff, and you are stuff. joking, but why did you post this?
but yes, tor is actually a wonderful thing to use if you like tinfoil hats.