SCP-[even number]-J megathread

[Pwnon]

its basically a joke SCP that allows you to generate your own SCP article with an ad-lib type generator

heres one of mine:

CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█

Item #: SCP-32-J

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-32-J is to be kept in a Doritos-lined containment chamber located in Fort Swag, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 4 Dank Memers armed with your mom.

In the event that SCP-32-J ever begins blazing its arm, Doctor Keyes is to snort SCP-32-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force X-7 (''Autism Squad'') is to be dispatched to SCP-32-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-32-J is a stupid frog. Like most members of its species, it is able to smoke dank, and regularly eats twice its own weight in Doritos each day.

SCP-32-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with mountain dew, which causes it to turn into space. Whenever this happens, all ebolas within a 69 kilometer radius will begin to spin uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Adolf Riddler. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-32-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-32-J was first located in Dank Weedtown where the Meme Team were using it in order to quickscope Bill Cosby. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force X-7 (''Autism Squad'') was able to recover the object with only 420 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 32-1

    Dr. Richter: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Richter, and I am about to test SCP-32's reaction to Doritos. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Young?

    Dr. Young: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

    Dr. Richter: Excellent! I am now introducing the Doritos to 32... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

    Dr. Young: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

    Richter: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN Head! IT'S GOT MEIN Head! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

    END LOG

In light of incident 32-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█

heres the link for all you scrubber duckies

http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-even-number-j

[Ad Bot]

[Lockebox]

SCP was pretty fun until the memelords and bronies got a hold of it

[Pwnon]

im a memelord, what beef do you have with me bro?

[Lockebox]

im a memelord

May God have mercy upon your soul

[Pwnon]

coming from a yiffer

[TheABELBOTO]

SCP was pretty fun until the memelords and bronies got a hold of it

wait what

[Dionysusan]

coming from a yiffer

[Renousim]

memes<yiff

[SetGaming]

Item #: SCP-69-J

Object Class: erotic

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-69-J is to be kept in a Curry-lined containment chamber located in my star fish, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 4 proctologists armed with carrots.

In the event that SCP-69-J ever begins loving its ass, asslicker mcmonday is to forget SCP-69-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Zeta-7 (''Unbreakable'') is to be dispatched to SCP-69-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-69-J is a loving terrible starfish. Like most members of its species, it is able to lick richard, and regularly eats twice its own weight in Curry each day.

SCP-69-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with my bro, which causes it to turn into jizz. Whenever this happens, anyone within a 24 kilometer radius will begin to forget uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to satoru iwata. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-69-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-69-J was first located in kekingtonvilletown where the the feminists were using it in order to kill all men. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Zeta-7 (''Unbreakable'') was able to recover the object with only 6969696969 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 69-1

Dr. mondaystrauch: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr mondaystrauch, and I am about to test SCP-69's reaction to Olive Garden. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr DeGallo?
Dr. DeGallo: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. mondaystrauch: Excellent! I am now introducing the Olive Garden to 69... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. DeGallo: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

mondaystrauch: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN snake! IT'S GOT MEIN snake! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 69-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█

[Camel]

SCP was pretty fun until the memelords and bronies got a hold of it

the SCP community is so hostile tho, which is how they retain their level of quality. you ever look at the comments section for an SCP? it's nothing but harsh critiques

[Pwnon]

I think they still do a good job keeping the stuff at bay. I mean there's over 2000 of the loving spoopmeisters now. All of them have pretty interesting stories.

[Renousim]

Item #: SCP-69-J

Object Class: dumb ho

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-69-J is to be kept in a wasabi-lined containment chamber located in fort forget, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 1.1 hooker armed with forks.

In the event that SCP-69-J ever begins loving its dong, joe is to dong slap SCP-69-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force omega-7 (''rick and morty'') is to be dispatched to SCP-69-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-69-J is a omega cat. Like most members of its species, it is able to eat fish, and regularly eats twice its own weight in wasabi each day.

SCP-69-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with jupiters, which causes it to turn into osama's cave. Whenever this happens, all mondays within a 2 kilometer radius will begin to fapping uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to me. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-69-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-69-J was first located in forgetland where the footbol were using it in order to crucify weebs. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force omega-7 (''rick and morty'') was able to recover the object with only 999999999999999999 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 69-1

Dr. Riddler: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Riddler, and I am about to test SCP-69's reaction to pit. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr jass?
Dr. jass: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Riddler: Excellent! I am now introducing the pit to 69... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. jass: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Riddler: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN KIDNEY! IT'S GOT MEIN KIDNEY! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 69-J-1

[TableSalt]

I forgeted a lot of forget on this forgeter, so you better loving forget it.
Item #: SCP-forgethundred+1-J

Object Class: forget

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-forgethundred+1-J is to be kept in a forgetarooni-lined containment chamber located in forgetlands, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than forgetteen forgeter armed with forgetlint.

In the event that SCP-forgethundred+1-J ever begins loving its forgetmaker, Fuhk is to forget SCP-forgethundred+1-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force γαμώ-7 (''forgetforgets'') is to be dispatched to SCP-forgethundred+1-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-forgethundred+1-J is a forgety forgetkin. Like most members of its species, it is able to forget forgeter, and regularly eats twice its own weight in forgetarooni each day.

SCP-forgethundred+1-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with forgetifier, which causes it to turn into forgetagon. Whenever this happens, all forgetballs within a forgethundred kilometer radius will begin to forget uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to forget forgetly. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-forgethundred+1-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-forgethundred+1-J was first located in forgetville where the forgetheads were using it in order to forget everything. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force γαμώ-7 (''forgetforgets'') was able to recover the object with only forgetmillion civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log forgethundred+1-1

Dr. Phuck: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Phuck, and I am about to test SCP-forgethundred + 1's reaction to forgeter. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr forget?
Dr. forget: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Phuck: Excellent! I am now introducing the forgeter to forgethundred + 1... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. forget: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Phuck: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN forgetIFIER! IT'S GOT MEIN forgetIFIER! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident forgethundred+1-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█

[Gojira]

oh come on did you guys even try


CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█

Item #: SCP-2655-J

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2655-J is to be kept in a SCP-447-lined containment chamber located in Site 17, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 3 agents armed with pistols.

In the event that SCP-2655-J ever begins attempting to tear off its tail, Dr. ██████ is to pet SCP-2655-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Lambda-7 (''Mythbusters'') is to be dispatched to SCP-2655-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-2655-J is a tabby cat. Like most members of its species, it is able to generate SCP-447, and regularly eats twice its own weight in SCP-447 each day.

SCP-2655-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with corpses, which causes it to turn into some form of fractal. Whenever this happens, all containers of liquid within a 2 kilometer radius will begin to vibrate and bounce around uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to [DATA EXPUNGED]. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-2655-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-2655-J was first located in ███████, Texas where the ████████ were using it in order to find corpses to [DATA EXPUNGED]. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Lambda-7 (''Mythbusters'') was able to recover the object with only 2██ civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 2655-1

Dr. Hartmann: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Hartmann, and I am about to test SCP-2655's reaction to D-Class test subjects. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Steele?
Dr. Steele: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Hartmann: Excellent! I am now introducing the D-Class to 2655... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Steele: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Hartmann: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN LEG! IT'S GOT MEIN LEG! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 2655-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█

[TableSalt]

I did it again. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Item #: SCP-069-J

Object Class: Moist

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-069-J is to be kept in a semen-lined containment chamber located in a stripclub, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 3 prostitutes armed with carrots.

In the event that SCP-069-J ever begins stroking its hard rooster, 1 of the prostitutes is to violently rape SCP-069-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Θ-7 (''Priapismists'') is to be dispatched to SCP-069-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-069-J is a male exhibitionist. Like most members of its species, it is able to forget vaginas, and regularly eats twice its own weight in semen each day.

SCP-069-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with an orgy, which causes it to turn into a gay rapist. Whenever this happens, all virgins within a 39 kilometer radius will begin to have love uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to their dad. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-069-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-069-J was first located in Why, Arizona where the group known as "The Asslickers" were using it in order to pleasure themselves. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Θ-7 (''Priapismists'') was able to recover the object with only approximately 23,000 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 069-1

Dr. Clitoris: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Clitoris, and I am about to test SCP-069's reaction to erotica. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Urethera?
Dr. Urethera: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Clitoris: Excellent! I am now introducing the erotica to 069... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Urethera: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Clitoris: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN VIRGINITY! IT'S GOT MEIN VIRGINITY! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 069-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█