ok this is a bit of a story so strap yourselves in and take some ritalin because this was an epic story of epic porporptions
so my dad works on a submarine for the us navy because he is the captains bitch and it was take your son to work week while this was going on so i was hanging out with dad learning how to be a semen because it is my dream to become the captain of a bunch of sea men anyway we were leaving the port of san fransisco and all was good once we were like out at sea we started diving and it is really cool how like the submarine points downward some of the new guys fell over but i didn't and we started diving and your ears pop like when you're in a plane but anyways we're diving and i was like "whoah dad this was really cool" and he said "yes it is" while the captain told him to shut up and only speak when spoken too and it was funny i started to laugh and yes.
i really liked the captain, we started to hang out and he was teaching me how to make commands to the submarine i even got to turn it to starbord by a whole 5 DEGREES and he told me good job and that i would make a great captain some day and we went to the food area and sat down and had some coffee and he told me he was getting to old for this work and relinguished power of captain to me and im thinking wow i will make my dad so proud and my dad burst in angry that he spent 40 years of his life tyring to be captain but all it takes is his "degenarate 15 year old to "take his dreams away from him and i told him toonly speak when spoken too and he had to say yes sir otherwise i would fire him and it was great and i told him to go to his bunk for the night and re evaluate his prioritys and stuff
a few days pass and we are doing basic practice patrols out of the shore and suddenly a big boom goes off and everyone starts panicing because apparently an old world war mine hit the sub marine and caused a breach and water started forcing itself in all the sounds were really creaky and i coulds ee dents forming in the walls and we were trying to surface but took on too much water and everything violently collapesed around me i got trapped under some metal and passed out and i seen the big pearly gates of heaven and whatnot and there was a figure there to welcome me and i told him to just speak when spoken too and shut the fruck off and i woke up in an amberlance driving away from the scene but i passed out again and i was in hell and the devil gave me a thumbs up before i woke up from a acoma and my mom was there crying because my dad died in the fire and i told her in a soft tone only speak when spoken too and saluted the governer general who promoted me to captain II rank an d when i grow up i will become the best captain of a ship in search of crash submarines.
be careful the military isnt for everyone.
this is captain big jew signing off.
