Author Topic: I'm having social troubles.  (Read 2063 times)

How do I decide when to ask them? Is there a certain point?

Also, I think I just need to get to know myself a bit better. If someone asked me about my interests on the spot, it'd probably take a few seconds for me to think of some. I spent too much time in gaming and did not develop them enough perhaps. It just seems like not many of my interests are relatable.
« Last Edit: August 11, 2015, 12:51:21 PM by Col. Derontchi »

Always remember that there is a difference between acquaintances and friends. In regards to school, I only consider 3-4 people my friend. Everyone else is an acquaintance. If I don't hang out with them, wouldn't tell them personal things, etc., they aren't considered a friend in my mind.

Always remember that there is a difference between acquaintances and friends. In regards to school, I only consider 3-4 people my friend. Everyone else is an acquaintance. If I don't hang out with them, wouldn't tell them personal things, etc., they aren't considered a friend in my mind.
This.

I rarely say "friend" when talking about people.

You don't have to talk about your own interests specifically, just chat about anything you have in mind at the time and maybe you can make a conversation out of it. As you get closer to the person then you tend to go deeper with your conversations.

For example, you're going to college next year, chat about how you're excited and what you're going to study, then ask them if they're in college. From here, you can drag the conversation in different directions to maintain it.

Sometimes you may find there are "awkward silences" when chatting to new people, remember it's only awkward if you make it awkward. Don't show that you think it's awkward, if you look nervous then they'll catch the vibe and they'll feel awkward.
« Last Edit: August 11, 2015, 01:14:59 PM by General »

You don't have to talk about your own interests specifically, just chat about anything you have in mind at the time and maybe you can make a conversation out of it. As you get closer to the person then you tend to go deeper with your conversations.

For example, you're going to college next year, chat about how you're excited and what you're going to study, then ask them if they're in college. From here, you can drag the conversation in different directions to maintain it.

Sometimes you may find there are "awkward silences" when chatting to new people, remember it's only awkward if you make it awkward. Don't show that you think it's awkward, if you look nervous then they'll catch the vibe and they'll feel awkward.
I think my conversation skills are sufficient I think. Maybe I just need to go to know myself a little better first.

My way of doing what you're talking about:
"Oh, hey, I'm looking to get a group together to go hiking or have a fire or something on Saturday, you interested?"
Throw that into a conversation you're part of where folks are talking about stuff they're doing or whatever.

It's worked out well enough for me.

And if you're worried about people asking you about your interests or whatever, that's understandable.  I just let others do the talking and either nod seriously or give a brief laugh or whatever seems appropriate and just let them carry on the conversation for the most part.  May or may not help for you.

When I got to secondary school I was one of the biggest cunts in year 7, I hanged out with bad people which lowered my reputation really badly. I got into a fight and won but that didn't mean anything to me, people annoyed me and I fought back a bit to the fact someone was annoying too much that I punched him in the face. Don't be like me, you need to know who your hanging around with someone that does bad things because you'll be in a bad position and your rep will go bad. Hang with those that care a lot about you and those that always give you a good conversation when you speak to them, also ask your friends if you want to hang out sometime or play sports. If your not good at a sport that doesn't mean stuff, when I moved to America I sucked a lot at Basketball and people taught me how to play, barely anyone in the school played football/soccer which was a impact on me. I eventually got really good at basketball since people taught me how to play I then found a football/soccer field and interacted with people that were really older than me.

To be honest you should play sports because that's the best way to meet new people, I met some 20 year old guy when I was playing soccer/football once and I was/is 14 which is weird but their age doesn't matter sometimes. This community is full of 15-18 year olds and I'm young and yet I'm friends with some of you guys. Just meet anyone, develop a good conversation, exchange phone numbers, talking to them every now and then, hang around a bit and repeat the process. Its not that hard unless your locking yourself inside which I did once and I forgeted up big time

When I got to secondary school I was one of the biggest cunts in year 7, I hanged out with bad people which lowered my reputation really badly. I got into a fight and won but that didn't mean anything to me, people annoyed me and I fought back a bit to the fact someone was annoying too much that I punched him in the face. Don't be like me, you need to know who your hanging around with someone that does bad things because you'll be in a bad position and your rep will go bad. Hang with those that care a lot about you and those that always give you a good conversation when you speak to them, also ask your friends if you want to hang out sometime or play sports. If your not good at a sport that doesn't mean stuff, when I moved to America I sucked a lot at Basketball and people taught me how to play, barely anyone in the school played football/soccer which was a impact on me. I eventually got really good at basketball since people taught me how to play I then found a football/soccer field and interacted with people that were really older than me.

To be honest you should play sports because that's the best way to meet new people, I met some 20 year old guy when I was playing soccer/football once and I was/is 14 which is weird but their age doesn't matter sometimes. This community is full of 15-18 year olds and I'm young and yet I'm friends with some of you guys. Just meet anyone, develop a good conversation, exchange phone numbers, talking to them every now and then, hang around a bit and repeat the process. Its not that hard unless your locking yourself inside which I did once and I forgeted up big time
I am in sports, actually. Competitive swimming. I talk to people but only in person. I hate texting people because I don't have anything to tell them I guess. What do you mean by "locking myself inside"?

I had spent too much time in gaming to where that had become almost all of my interests, besides swimming, paintball, and guitar.
it's time to find something you like that you can make a career out of

it's time to find something you like that you can make a career out of
Yeah, I was thinking of hobbies. I actually really like engineering.

Yeah, I was thinking of hobbies. I actually really like engineering.
I'm sure there are other people who are into that

I'm sure there are other people who are into that
Yeah, but how do you talk about engineering lol

Yeah, but how do you talk about engineering lol
idk, I'm not interested in it
but when you grow up your friends are gonna be work friends, not people you knew in high school

idk, I'm not interested in it
but when you grow up your friends are gonna be work friends, not people you knew in high school
But high school is the time to be social, and I'm having trouble taking advantage of that.

But high school is the time to be social, and I'm having trouble taking advantage of that.
do you think the rest of your life is the time to not be social, or something
I don't know how old you are, but there's no secret trick to making friends. like, you've got maybe a couple of years left, right? you're probably not gonna make a great, lifelong friend in a couple of years
you're probably never going to see any of these people again after you graduate. just keep doing what you're doing, you'll make closer friends later
« Last Edit: August 11, 2015, 07:30:22 PM by Foxscotch »