ok well, I accidentally used shampoo to masturbate, and my richard now feels like someone is rubbing loving sandpaper all along it all day
how did this happen? well, suave has A+ marketing, so they named their shampoo "shea butter". sounds like conditioner, because of the butter part, right? wrong!
so I'm, er, polishing myself and it feels good, but there's not enough lube! let's add another handful more! heck, forget it, let's add so much that it makes everything extra messy, because life is boring. so I actually did that and a few hours later and I feel like I've contracted some forgetin rare form of STD from an exotic animal in the Amazon jungle. really, it stung like stuff and it got all red.
how the forget do I stop it from stinging? I already took a shower to see if I could get it off, but it didn't work.
