INHUMAN - Chapter Two: Seeing Red - Need Characters!

[blazerblock2]

oops, disregard this

[Ad Bot]

[Cypthon]

as desperate as we are for characters, I'm gonna have to deny this character.  your choice of starting weaponry (namely the sniper rifle) is too much, and your backstory isn't fitting to what our characters are supposed to be (criminals).  your body modification (an entire body-suit) is also too much.  however, like I said we are desperate.  I will give you the option of a.) reading the character creation guide/guidelines and re-applying, or b.) I can accept the character and replace items that I see unfit with items that fit within the guidelines.  this would include removing the sniper rifle, backstory, and reference picture, and reworking your augmentation.

Alright, ill improve the post, but just modify it.

[blazerblock2]

no problem.

[Cypthon]

no problem.

Alright, i finished editing it. If you still don't like what you see, you can gladly make some changes, but just don't change the entire character, you can also make slight changes to my backstory if you want. I'm just really trying to be a character.

[blazerblock2]

The backstory isn't even really necessary, it's an optional thing.  But here's what I'd much rather see:

Character:
Name: Ian "Slayin' Mason
Age: 21
Weapons: PD-9, and Multi-Tool
Physical Description: , Skinny tall figure, red hair, wears a black coat over a black tank-top with an obscure band logo on it, and a pair of jeans with a brown leather belt.
Body Modification: Policeman's Assistant Eyes, eyes with night-vision/thermal capability, also equipped with a face-scanner, linked to an outdated database of Aurum's citizens.  Will identify any registered from three years ago and pull up an information file including details such as: name, DOB, height, weight, and past offenses/outstanding warrants.
Short backstory: Ian grew up in the slums of Aurum and mostly slacked during school, often playing hooky and hanging out with his friends.  He became involved with gang activity at a very young age, and unfortunately lost his eyesight in his early years during a fight.  His damaged eyes were later replaced with bionic eyes.

Your backstory was changed to be more fitting to the group's background, your HD-45 was replaced since they've not yet been made available (they will be in the future, I assure you) and your Swiss Army Knife was replaced with a multitool because we already have someone who has one built into their hand (you had yours "built into your glove") and a multitool is much more practical, basically heavier-duty Swiss Army Knife.  Your augmentation has gone from a full-body suit (too expensive/too extensive of a procedure) to just a pair of augmented eyes used by police.  Also, your physical description contained things that one wouldn't know just looking at them (extensive knowledge of the city, etc.), so I just added clothing instead.

[Cypthon]

The backstory isn't even really necessary, it's an optional thing.  But here's what I'd much rather see:

Your backstory was changed to be more fitting to the group's background, your HD-45 was replaced since they've not yet been made available (they will be in the future, I assure you) and your Swiss Army Knife was replaced with a multitool because we already have someone who has one built into their hand (you had yours "built into your glove") and a multitool is much more practical, basically heavier-duty Swiss Army Knife.  Your augmentation has gone from a full-body suit (too expensive/too extensive of a procedure) to just a pair of augmented eyes used by police.  Also, your physical description contained things that one wouldn't know just looking at them (extensive knowledge of the city, etc.), so I just added clothing instead.

Alright, also stick with the new pic i used, not the Robot bullstuff, the White haired guy.

[blazerblock2]

Alright.  You can go ahead and take Vincent's place.

[Cypthon]

Alright.  You can go ahead and take Vincent's place.

kk, lemme just review what has happened so far.

[blazerblock2]

Norum smirks, and continues up the stairs, also checking to make sure that the safety on his PD-9 is in its off position.

The team arrives a flight below the floor where Daniel reported there being troops.  "How many?  Any in the adjacent rooms?"

Daniel stopped, pressing his palm into the wall and shaking his head, "No, still clear..." he trailed off.

The group pressed on until they reached floor fourteen.  "Hold it," Daniel said, before pressing a finger to his lips.

"I heard em' talking about the Doc, they wanna find em'.  He left some stuff behind, let's burn it before they get to it," one of the goons said as they descended the stairs to the fourteenth floor.

"Yeah, good call, boss'll be real happy with us," the other said to his companion.  They came to a door in front of the stairway that lead down the stairs, and one of them placed their hand on the handle while the other peered down the stairs.  "Oh stuff!" he cried, before aiming his weapon.

Then, as the other man turned the door handle and cracked the door slightly, his head just turning to face the group, a small spark could be seen in the crack of the doorway, an arc of electricity.  Flame erupted from the room, blowing the door off of its hinges and into the two goons, who fried from the fire.  A deafening crack resonated from the room as flaming paper and debris flew from it, the pressure wave from the blast knocked the group on their asses and down the stairs, and the fire alarm was tripped, spraying water all over the building.

Daniel rubbed his head as he attempted to recollect his thoughts, the shock of what just happened hit him hard.  He looked around, dazed and confused.

[Cypthon]

Hears a bunch of gun shooting in the ally way so i go to investigate

"What in the forget is going on? I should probably get out of sight..."

  "I should probably go onto the rooftop by getting a grip on the ladder..

Gets to the Rooftop to stay out of anybody's line of sight

   Pulls out a PD-9 out come my Jacket and turns on Night Vision capability mode and just waits. Then goes on knees and turns head towards a wide open door in a concerned mood

[blazerblock2]

Hears a bunch of gun shooting in the ally way so i go to investigate

"What in the forget is going on? I should probably get out of sight..."

  "I should probably go onto the rooftop by getting a grip on the ladder..

Gets to the Rooftop to stay out of anybody's line of sight

   Pulls out a PD-9 out come my Jacket and turns on Night Vision capability mode and just waits. Then goes on knees and turns head towards a wide open door in a concerned mood

The point was to take Vincent's place in the group, so you'd be with the group.  Read through everyone's roleplay and try to base your style on it.

[SWAT One]

Norum clutches his head between his forearms, having hit his head against the wall, groaning all the while.

After a few seconds, Norum stumbles up, bracing against the wall for support.
"You guys alright?"

[blazerblock2]

Daniel slowly rose to his feet, picking a jagged piece of drywall from his arm and wincing, "forget me, that hurts," he said.

Several Fly goons rushed down the stairs, closing quickly on the group's position.  They came down the stairs, aiming their weapons, "Hold it there!" they shouted.

[PurpleMetro]

After the crash, Archie wakes to attention. He lifts his body off of the ground then stands up, having landed on his back. He coughs for a bit, shaking the dust and debris off of him.

He sees the goons aiming at them. "Well forget." He slowly raises his arms up.

"Anybody got a plan," he whispers.

[SWAT One]

"Well stuff."

Norum raises his arms over his head.