Try to make a more hardcore statement than the above user's

[Space1255]

/title

Example:
1: I punched a cop in the face
2: Well I walked past five gees and fought all of them
3: I took a bullet
And so on

Starting statement:
I brush teeth and drink orange juice daily.

[Ad Bot]

[PurpleMetro]

well i had a bowl of nails for breakfast this morning.
without any milk

[Frequency]

I'm always having a seizure, but no one can tell because of my sheer willpower.

[Nicepoint]

I slapped Chuck Norris in the face,

I managed to survive as a ghost to tell the story

[SteveJenkins]

Chuck Norris is overrated.

[Frequency]

Chuck Norris is so overrated that I beat his old ass to death with his own legs.

[Space1255]

I wrestled fifteen sharks while suffering from radiation poisoning

[dr_pepper]

Apple

[Tudoreleu]

I wrestled fifteen sharks and a goldfish while suffering from radiation poisoning

[Zharthon]

I wrestled John Cena while suffering a broken knee, a broken neck and two concussions.

[Frequency]

I have muscles on my eyeballs.

[Copy Kirby]

I loving ripped someones spine out of there ass only to choke the nearest person with it while also shooting chuck norris in the face with my richard

[Frequency]

I just loving hate this world and the human worms feasting on its carcass. My whole life is just cold, bitter hatred, and I always wanted to die violently. This is the time of vengeance, and no life is worth saving. And I will put in the grave as many as I can. It's time for me to kill... and it's time for me to die. My genocide crusade begins here.

[Space1255]

The muscles of my eyeballs have muscles. Those muscles have muscles, which also have muscles. I've wrestled fifteen sharks and whales by head butting them.

[TableSalt]

I had a bowl of toothpaste and orange juice this morning.