Cypthon's Thread of Horror

[Cypthon]

these things aren't scary

I can still write them, it's just reading something doesn't make you scared.

[Ad Bot]

[The Resonte!]

reminds me of this
http://forum.blockland.us/index.php?topic=276739.0

[Theepicman]

reminds me of this
http://forum.blockland.us/index.php?topic=276739.0

what in the...

[Copy Kirby]

reminds me of this
http://forum.blockland.us/index.php?topic=276739.0

i dont even
i
what the forget?

[Cypthon]

i dont even
i
what the forget?

scariest
creepypasta
ever

[bestguy22]

reminds me of this
http://forum.blockland.us/index.php?topic=276739.0

omfg i remember that

[Akio]

The writing isn't very good.

[Cypthon]

The writing isn't very good.

Any way to improve it?

[Akio]

Any way to improve it?

Paying attention in writing classes

[Cypthon]

Paying attention in writing classes

I do though.

[Akio]

It'll probably improve with age

[Rally]

I was working on something a while back that played on the fear of loneliness/isolation which is strikingly common. It was/is a psychological horror, about a man that survives a global disaster. As far as the audience and the protagonist knows, he is the only survivor. He lives in a cabin in the woods, starts off well and becomes self sufficient, but as the nights grow darker and the days grow colder, we observe his descent into madness.

Seeing ghosts in the trees, hearing voices at night, ect. I had difficulty writing it due to a complete lack of dialogue (and just general ineptness at comprehensive long story writing) but eventually it ended with him hallucinating that his echo was the yell of another human being, which he chased through the forest and valley. By the time he realized his mistake, he was lost in woods at night, in absolute darkness. Panicked, he hastily rushes back where he came, but stumbles down a cliff-side in the dark, he ends up snapping his femur and falling into a cold lake and drowning to death.

Would be better if it was an actual narrative instead of a plot summary but hey. Just the thought alone of being in that situation made me uncomfortable.

Any way to improve it?

My advice to you would be to narrate the story as if you were sitting across from somebody at a campfire, telling it to their face. Read more books, read creepy-pastas, read through the criticisms that were left on said creepy-pastas, you'll pick up tips and tricks along the way.

[Cypthon]

My advice to you would be to narrate the story as if you were sitting across from somebody at a campfire, telling it to their face. Read more books, read creepy-pastas, read through the criticisms that were left on said creepy-pastas, you'll pick up tips and tricks along the way.

Alright, thanks. It is a lot better tip then Akio's bull stuff.

[Cypthon]

Story 3:
This story is from the perspective of a 24 year old female named Kailey. Kailey used to work at McDonalds over night since they began 24 hour service. Kailey was working on a shift from 11:00PM - 4:00AM. The only reason Kailey started working at night is so she get payed more. Usually, she would only come across 5 customers at night, because who goes to McDonalds at Night? Fat people. Kailey was once working at McDonalds for the night shift, and she worked for drive-thru, while the other two worked as cashiers. It was about 2 in the morning, the time where customers stopped coming at night. Two more hours until Kailey can go home. Kailey didn't expect anybody to come to the drive-thru, so she just played games on her phone. A car parked at the drive-thru speaker. Kailey didn't notice until she heard a loud thud, like a car door slamming shut. Kailey looked at the camera, and saw a car with very dark windows, almost impossible to see inside.
Kailey asked, "Hello, may i take your order?" No response. Kailey asked a few more times getting confused why nobody was answering. Kailey looked at the camera again, noticing the right passenger side door open. She swore it wasn't opened before. Kailey decided to tell the cashiers or her co-workers about who was parked at the drive-thru speaker. It was cold as stuff outside, so nobody wanted to go outside. Almost a hour had past, the car is still loving there. The manager was sick, so he stupidly left us here unsupervised, but we had worked here for a while, so he might have trusted us. I was about to get the manager until realizing he wasn't here, that he was sick. 15 minutes later, we got put up. We all together got the balls enough to go out there and confront who was out there. We opened the back door and walked to the car, noticing nobody was in it. We looked inside the car from the opened door, there was a lot of mud, there was shoe prints covered in mud leading to in front of the building. We all went silent. After a few seconds of silence, we heard a faint voice... "I'm coming for you." We all yelled our asses off and ran back inside the building locking all the entrances. We called the police and the manger. We heard the managers phone ring. It was coming from inside the car. We hid behind the counter, with any weapon we could find. Kailey had got up to peak of the counter. She saw him, the manager from behind the glass. He had a dark grin on his face. He was trying to break the window and glass. I told the workers, "Holy stuff, it was the manager."
"What do you mean?" said one of them.
"The car belonged to the manager, the voice belonged to him. He is trying to break into the building right now!" said Kailey.
By a miracle, we heard police sirens. The manager immediately fled the scene never to be seen or spoken of again. I just can't believe the manager of McDonalds would do this to us. I quit the job a day after that. I work as a vet now. I still wonder where the manager is now..

I tried to improve telling stories.

[Cypthon]

Story 4:

This story is about a man named Daniel, who used to be a US Marine. Daniel was taking a drive at night, trying to get to some party. Daniel was driving on a plain road, where there was a corn field on the right, while plain lands on the left. Daniel was simply driving on the road, until he noticed a car that seemed to have crashed in the corn field. Daniel pulled over, not leaving the car just to be safe. Daniel looked around from the window, not seeing anything. Daniel had a gun in his trunk, so he decided to get it. He unlocked the trunk from inside the car, got out and got it. Daniel loaded his gun and made his way to the crashed car. He went to the front and looked into the car, It was a truck. There was blood on the wind shield, and the driver's side door was broken and opened. He went to the other side, to find track's of a body being dragged into the corn field. Daniel froze, noticing blood on the corn and in the car.
Daniel yelled, "Hello? Anybody?"
No response, Daniel began to have a bad feeling, so he got his gun ready to shoot.
Daniel more roughly yelled, "HELLO?!"
Daniel froze in fear, as he heard a blood curdling scream. It was far away.
Daniel shot his gun, very loudly.
Daniel again yelled, "SHOW YOURSELF NOW!"
Again, another blood curdling scream, but this time, it was closer. Daniel then backed up. Suddenly, there was a twig that snapped. Daniel ran to the car in fear, locked the doors and was about to leave. Daniel noticed a figure peaking out from behind the corn, and a leg of somebody, assuming a dead body sticking out of the corn field. Daniel floored it out of there, and reported what happened and police were sent, but the truck was gone, but a body was found.