Author Topic: Blogland: My dad got in jail for the 8th, and probably last time.  (Read 1936 times)

My dad is a known person in the police department because he keeps on getting arrested. I never get to see him for most of the time, only through video chat I get to see him.
He got into jail by hitting his girlfriend (whom I liked) because he was a drunk LIAR. HE ALWAYS PROMISES "I will not smoke or drink" WITH TWO FINGERS CROSSED BEHIND HIS BACK.
I won't even see him until i'm 17, which is 5 years. He was super beefed from the last time he got arrested so it hurt his girlfriend really hard.
I am having trouble coping with this as he is always nice around us and not around us. But he did do these things: Attacking a police officer, Attacking a police dog, Hitting his wife (my mom), hitting other people, DUI. I could just go on and on. Blf, can you help me cope?

Ask Santa to bring you a new dad

This is really terrible. What I insist you do is try to forget about him and think about the present. He isn't around to care for you because he has no self-control. I'd think that if he actually does want to be around for you, he would take some sort of anger management class while he's in prison or something. Five years is a long time and people can change.

your dad sounds like a loving starfish

Sorry to hear that, my dad did some prison time when I was like 11 for a DUI. Just write him a letter often I guess, I wrote him every week.

bring him freedom

is the girlfriend ok?

bring him freedom

is the girlfriend ok?
Yeah, my family is letting her stay for the night.

my dad was very similar in a way. he was an alcoholic and no matter how many times he promised he would stop, he didn't. he went to AA all the time but the soberness didn't last very long. when he wasn't on alcohol he was the nicest guy you could be around, but not when he was drunk.

write a letter to your dad saying how his wreckless behavior is affecting yours and other people's lives. if he cares, it might inspire him to make a complete transition. i never had the guts to do this with my dad, he probably would've lived longer if i had said something.

This is horrible, and I hope you cope with the situation appropriately. I firmly disagree with XR-7, and believe that rather than forgetting about this (which is something which you should not do), that you should use your dad as a life example. If he has treated you well, that's the only thing which matters. You can still love him, and you can still like him.

While it is a shame what happened to your father and the fact that he's a repeat offender, this should remind you that the choices you make in life always make a profound difference -- whether they're positive or negative. One stupid choice is one strike, and one strike can be it for you. I would not take his history with a grain of salt. Instead use it to better yourself, and realize that by making the right choices early in life - you can do anything, be anything, and be better than everyone else.

Four pieces of advice: Don't be stupid and follow the same things your dad did. Don't do anything that could interfere with your ability to be productive (such as abusing substances). Don't be a follower; be a leader. Don't involve yourself with those who encourage you to take part in bad things.

Best of luck, and just know that despite your dad being imprisoned again -- this is not an ending for you. It can be a beginning and get you on a path to success.
« Last Edit: December 19, 2015, 10:45:45 PM by Bear_Tracks »

I don't think XR-7 was saying to forget it ever happened.
 
He is saying to forget his dad for now, because he is not a good dad or a good man.


I don't think XR-7 was saying to forget it ever happened.
 
He is saying to forget his dad for now, because he is not a good dad or a good man.

Yeah this. I'm not saying to shut him out of your life, but bothering with someone who is at this particular moment a lost cause is not worth messing with. Like I said,

Five years is a long time and people can change.



Yeah this. I'm not saying to shut him out of your life, but bothering with someone who is at this particular moment a lost cause is not worth messing with. Like I said,


I disagreed with you when you said that he should try to forget about the dad and only think about what's to come (the present). I think his dad most likely does care for his son, as the OP has stated: "as he is always nice around us and not around us". His father probably had problems, but at least he was nice to his child which does count. At least he made an effort to be nice around his child, that's all I can really say.

Only include him in your life if it has a positive effect. If not, cut him off. You deserve better.