https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTi6efpPSZ0Now if you want I can read it to ya.
I wanna tell you one story.
This was, the best meal i've ever had in my life, alright?
This happened when I was 11 years old in chicago illinois where I grew up.
And it took place at a little restaurant called "The Salt and Pepper Diner".
Which was a family restaurant in the city, yes, you know the salt and pepper diner?
It's a wonderful family restaurant in chicago which means it caters mainly to teenagers and homoschizophrenics.
Now I go into this place one day when i'm 11 with my best friend John, and I should say his name is also john, I'm not calling myself my own best friend.
It's a separate human being.
We walk into the salt and pepper diner one day, and they had a jukebox there, alright?
And the jukebox was 3 plays for a dollar.
So we put in 7 dollars, and selected 21 plays of Tom Jones' "What's new pusillanimous individual cat".
And then we ordered and waited.
Here's the thing about when "What's new pusillanimous individual cat" plays over and over and over and over and over again.
The second time it plays, your immediate thought is not "Hey someone's playing 'what's new pusillanimous individual cat' again"
It's "Hey, 'what's new pusillanimous individual cat' is a lot longer then I first thought."
And it has like a dip in the middle.
You know how some songs have a dip like "guns and roses november rain"?
Your like "Hey november rain is over!".
No it's not.
There's more.
The third time it plays your thinking "Maybe someone's playing 'what's new pusillanimous individual cat' again."
The fourth time it plays your thinking "WOAH, someone just played 'what's new pusillanimous individual cat' 4 times, or at least, someone played it twice, and it's a really long song."
So, the fifth time is the kicker.
Now we're watching the entire diner at this point.
Most people have gotten wind as to what's going on.
And we're staring at this one guy and he's sitting in his booth and his like hand is shaking while his stupid kids jump around.
And he's been onto us since the beginning.
And he's staring into his coffee cup like this and he has this look on his face like "aaaaa" like he just got his 30 day chip from anger management.
And he's staring like this and the fourth play fades out, it's dead quiet.
And then, I don't know if you know this.
But the song begins very subtlety.
"BWAA BWAA WAS NEW pusillanimous individual CAT?"
And the guy goes "GOOOOOD DAMMIT" and pounds on the table, and silverware goes flying everywhere.
And it was faaantastic.
But a word about my friend john, and what a genius he was.
Because, when we were first up at the jukebox, and punching in the "what's new pusillanimous individual cat"'s, right?
I'd punched in about 7, and then john says to me.
"Hey hey hey wait, before we drop in another 'whats new pusillanimous individual cat' lets put in 1 'it's not unusual'.
AND THAT IS WHEN THE AFTERNOON WENT FROM GOOD TO GREAT.
After 7, "what's new pusillanimous individual cat"'s, IN A ROW.
Suddenly, "Dum, da dum, da, dadadadadadum, it's not unusual!".
And the sigh of relief that swept through the diner.
People were ecstatic!
It was like the liberation of france.
You know for years, scientists have wondered.
"Can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing tom jones' 'it's not unusual'".
And the answer is, yes, you can.
As long as it is proceeded by 7 "What's new pusillanimous individual cat"'s.
And on the other hand, when we went back.
Holy stuff.
"It's not unusual" fades out.
It's dead quiet.
"BWAAA BWAA WAS NEW pusillanimous individual CAT!"
People went loving insane.
No one could handle it!
No one could handle it!
And they were surrounded by this seemingly indifferent staff ya know that was just like "yep, same stuff as always!"
My only wish was that one of those schizophrenics stood up and been like "now you know, now you know what it's like to live in my brain".
They unplugged the jukebox after 11 plays.
And THAT, was the best meal I've ever had.
loving lol.
