Any improvements in my Video?

[General Dog]

Yesterday, I uploaded a nerd review of Black Ops 3, today I did Halo 5. I did away with most of the Naruto Jokes, and I took other suggestions as well. Please enjoy and leave criticism.
-link removed, got the feedback-

[Ad Bot]

[Clownfish]

I still hate the voice, it doesn't add to the joke
The jokes like "master queef" is a 3rd grade playground tier joke
Kush jokes are move overused than my right hand

Maybe it's just my style of humor conflicting

[General Dog]

I still hate the voice, it doesn't add to the joke
The jokes like "master queef" is a 3rd grade playground tier joke
Kush jokes are move overused than my right hand

Maybe it's just my style of humor conflicting

It was meant to be like a 3rd grader playground tier.
As for the Kush joke I was really tired and I probably forgot about it and I just skimmed over it in editing and re-watching it.

[Clownfish]

I'd give more suggestions other than "it's not funny make it funny" but I can't figure out what's missing or if there's anything there to begin with

[General Dog]

I'd give more suggestions other than "it's not funny make it funny" but I can't figure out what's missing or if there's anything there to begin with

I don't really know, humor has never been my best suit but I have been trying to get better.
I am working on a Machinima, it has a dark plot, with some humor in there to keep it good. After 5 hours straight of editing I have 2 minutes done and that is without dialogue, music, or other effects

[Slab Bulkhead]

its not funny, you're not very good at comedy. try something else.

[c]

Please enjoy

It was meant to be like a 3rd grader playground tier.

??? these are conflicting. what are you trying to accomplish here? if it's to make me cringe at the fact that you think you're funny, then you're doing a good job

[Dragonoid.Slayer]

I'm gonna make something extremely low quality, and intended to be horrible. It will be funny though because I said queef

[General Dog]

??? these are conflicting. what are you trying to accomplish here? if it's to make me cringe at the fact that you think you're funny, then you're doing a good job

I mean the master queef joke. It was meant to be something you would've heard on a 12th graders channel.

[Jairo]

After 5 hours straight of editing I have 2 minutes done and that is without dialogue, music, or other effects

I think you're doing something wrong then

[General Dog]

I think you're doing something wrong then

I had one hefty part of editing, It was mostly short clips needing to be polished and split accordingly so they could be added to the video. It is going well so far.

[Clownfish]

try erm
"intelligent" humor
if you can handle that

[Akio-]

don't quit your day job

[General Dog]

try erm
"intelligent" humor
if you can handle that

You mean jokes only a certain demographic with a certain knowledge would get?

[Clownfish]

You mean jokes only a certain demographic with a certain knowledge would get?

no I mean jokes that are funny to anybody above the age of 5