Author Topic: How To Tell Friend To Piss Off?  (Read 925 times)

My friend wants me to go walk for an hour so I'll get pizza with him and while he brags about his new girlfriend, but all I want to do is stay home and eat microwaved KFC while playing an Assassin during World War 1.

What's the best way to tell him to piss off, forums? I need some grand gesture that gets the point across.






just say that "i'll pass" or something similar, but in a nice tone, and he might ask someone else.

Tell him "I've always loved you".

walk to his house and stuff on this doorstep. leave a note next to it confirming that it was yours, and that you dont want to eat pizza with him today

Tell him "I've always loved you".


he's one step ahead of me

What the forget did you just loving say about me, you little wanker? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Australian Navy Ostriches, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on new zealand, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in outback warfare and I’m the top bushman in the entire Australia armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another wank. I will wipe you the forget out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in the down under, mark my loving words. You think you can get away with saying that stuff to me over the Internet? Think again, forgeter. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the outback and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, cunt. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re loving dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my machete. Not only am I extensively trained in wildlife combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Australian zoo exhibit and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little stuff. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your loving tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will stuff fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re loving dead, kiddo.
« Last Edit: January 16, 2016, 03:45:07 PM by Clownfish »

tell him you'd want a divorce

Link him to this page

Tell him for every step you have to take to get to the pizza place is another step the national socialist templar menace gets against you.

Most Australians don't consider using the humble sickie outside of work, but it's quite versatile in social situations such as this.

For example, 'Sorry cunt, I'm sicker than a bag of aids' or 'forget that, I'm sicker than a koala with gonorrhoea' will often be quite effective.

hire a real assassin to take him out