this is satirical
Reflecting on the past few years, especially the last two, here are some life lessons that I like to think made positive changes in my life
At 15, Im still really young and I have a lot to learn and I bet some of these will change with time but yeah
dont buy early access titles that are over $20
something i've learnt is that buying these early access titles no matter how good they look can sometimes end up in the developers stealing your money and you having no game its a very risky world i just gotta say be careful with your cash because unless you know the developer personally i wouldnt trust them with your money in some cases but not all of them
no cookies before bed
im a pretty frugal fella that can spend a chunk of change on some good foods but regardless of whether your hungry or not do not eat cookies before bedtime it will forget you up and youll want more and more cookies i went through 6 and a half packs of keebler fudge stripe cookies and before work one night and i originally thought "hey im a good guy i deserve one cookie" but then i went through another one and another one until all 6 packs were gone and i had a tummy ache the next day all day long
dont donate to charities when you have to wait in line for long
lets say im at dunkin donuts trying to get my dinner for my 15 minute dinner break but some starfish who drives a 2005 toyota corolla and is constantly taking business calls takes 12 minutes to order a dozen donuts and a medium coffee it takes forever and it demolishes my time to eat causing me to eat while im running back to work anyway i digress when i finally get to the counter and pay for my stuff they always ask me if i want to donate to the kids charity foundation for good people and a better life for all baby mormons and the needy homeless cancer women i say forget because they eye me down because they want me to donate my $2.12 in change into their little bucket but heres a little life tip for you if the place smells bad and the people keep encouraging donating then that means the money is going straight in their pocket dont donate if its bad but its ok if the place is good, the lines are good, and the employee is good the only way they could get me to donate is if they had a little 5 year old cancer chicken boy behind the counter squacking at me
dont go to the dairy queen on 125th street
my dad and i went there three years ago and all they served was warm ice cream and microwaved hot dogs they spilled my coke on the floor and all they had playing on the tv was vh1 and it was a really stuffty day for vh1 anyway the place next door had a hole in the wall meaning you could actually see into the store next door from underneath the wall and the thing is that they sold frogs so frogs were jumping all around the dairy queen it was rancid loving frogs they were like poop brown and poop green we ended up leaving it was so bad
thank u
