you know, i never heard about the "role in society" definition of gender until all this special snowflake stuff got attention
probably because you haven't taken a sociology class, that's the definition i learned in mine
There you have it; my entire philosophy on the matter in one sentence.
I will not change how I speak to make these people feel better, and if they're offended they need thicker skin. I do not go out of my way to make them uncomfortable either.
I expect the same treatment from everybody else.
this isn't really a matter of political correctness or offending people as much as it is being sensitive to the fact that other people have feelings that exist and are real. like not referring to black people as apes would probably be a matter of political correctness because that's language which is specifically used to marginalize and dehumanize a minority. using someone's preferred pronouns is just a nice thing to do because that's what makes them feel comfortable, like how i probably wouldn't tell jokes about getting forgeted with three richards at the same time if i were around my grandma because that would probably make her uncomfortable. obviously people using unconventional pronouns have to accept the fact that people aren't going to get used to it very easily, and if they don't, that's their problem, but if you're actively refusing to call someone he/she/they just because you don't agree with them?? you should probably find a better hill to die on; to me that just seems petty
or i guess, in other, more broad words, if you make someone uncomfortable because of something you did, most of the time it probably isn't reasonable to say it's just
their fault because they feel that way, since it was a direct effect of your actions. obviously you can't always anticipate what makes people upset, but you can at least accommodate after the fact because that's the courteous thing to do; if all you're going to do is shift the responsibility onto them because you don't think they should feel bad, then you're probably better off talking to people who you'll respect more anyway. if i make a comment about something and someone has a negative reaction, the reasonable course of action would be to adjust my behavior, that's a fairly basic courtesy. if that adjustment is too large, then that's probably an indication that i won't be able to comfortably interact with them, so i won't. maybe when you spell it out it sounds like being a pushover or something, but it's something literally anyone that learns to socialize has to figure out to be successful.
