Something's going on with my stuff (Feeling better now actually)

[TableSalt]

All of my stuff is very dark green, shaped like small ropes, burns like hell, and now my ass is bleeding a tiny bit.
And I can't get the bismuth open because the safety cap is too safe. Got it open.

What the forget is going on and any way I can fix it? I don't think it's gonna pass any time soon.
Also I can't go to the doctor right now.

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[KristoB]

um.

[SimpleFish]

My stuff hasn't actually been green, but like the stuff stains I wipe off my ass have been a few times, that's the only thing I can relate too. And also wtf did I just read.

[startacker]

I can not believe I'm saying this butt

I looked it up and you may have a hemorrhoid, which are:

abnormally swollen veins in the rectum or star fish that bleed with minor pressure, such as that which occurs from bowel movements.  They can be painful or painless depending on their location, and are often associated with rectal pain and itching, a lump that you can feel and/or rectal bleeding.

While that doesn't explain your stuff being green and ropey, it may explain the bleeding.
Take this with a grain of salt I'm just a 16 year old kid with no medical experience relying on google for my research

[TableSalt]

I would also like to point out that the bleeding is extremely minimal, almost unnoticeable.

[Dreams_Of_Cheese]

what have you been eating?

[TableSalt]

what have you been eating?

I don't really keep track of this, so I don't know.

[Masterlegodude]

Your poop can turn green depending on what you digest, i had that happen after taking some stomach medicine

[The Resonte!]

your poop might have been a tad too intense and also something you ate like masterlegodude says

unlikely to be a hemerroid but who knows