I've got several things on my mind lately.
I've currently quit university, for a bunch of reasons, including lack of motivation, annoyance with the lack of communication and poor administration at my uni, as well as being an unpleasantly small and boring uni town (read: village).
So, I've spent the summer job searching, looking for things to do and a way to pay my rent (a stipulation of living at home). I had minimal success for several applications in areas I would have enjoyed, including pharmacy/hospital work. The big card on the table was to get a job at a supermarket, as they're always hiring and provide consistent employment and decent pay. But I'm averse to them, as it's a monotonous uninspired job that I don't want to be stuck in. Annoyingly I'm a uni drop-out with stupidly high standards.
But, of even lower standards is the prospect of signing on for Job Seekers Allowance, and jumping through all the hoops while the Job Centre pushes me to do the stufftiest of jobs. And this was the ultimatum I was given if I didn't get a job by September. JSA or Uni.
I took the supermarket route while it was open to me. Fortunately a new large supermarket is being built in my town and is bringing a few hundred jobs.
So I applied for a cash office position, as it's at least above shelf stacking.
I went to the interview, one of those ones where you and several others all go in together, do team building exercises while being watched, then have a 1-to-1 interview. It went really really well.
And about 2 hours after the interview they phoned me to offer a position.
As a Baker.
So that's what I've been training as for the last 3 weeks. I mostly start at 5am, but as I have to train in a supermarket in another town, and there's no public transport that early, and I can't drive, I have to be up at 3, so a fellow trainee can pick me up.
The training has been very iffy. To be honest it's basically a clusterforget, with no clear direction or communication. No two people seem to know the same thing in terms of how the training should go.
Certain things I'm supposed to be taught by my Section Leader for our new store. But she was only hired the other day so she knows less than I do.
My fellow trainees and I feel like unwelcome burdens in this store we're training in.
And I find myself flipping between enjoying the work and truly hating it almost every shift.
I need to stick with it for at least a year, really. But the idea of that can leave me feeling sour in my stomach.
On top of all that I feel exceedingly guilty for neglecting my best friend for the last 4 months.
We normally chat almost every day, and usually play games together. But since coming home from Uni I find myself without the opportunity to sit down with my laptop and give him a call. This is in part because I lack a room to comfortably chat while retaining my privacy from the family, but also from a lack of time and the stress of job-hunting and working out where I'm going to go from here.
To top it off I feel afraid to just jump on and say hello because of the worry in explaining my absence. But the longer I put it off because of that the guiltier I feel for not speaking and I worry that he'll be less forgiving, and so I'm more afraid to say hello.
Which is all dumb as forget because we're best friends and I know he won't care, so long as we don't drift apart.
And while I've been busy this summer and have made a lot of changes I know that he was planning big ones of his own, and I want to know how he's doing.
I just really need to get over this mental hump and get in touch again.
