I'm Finnish and I demand reparations from Russia and Germany
I'm also Irish so I demand reparations from the UK for their torture of my peoples
But of course I'm also Scottish and English, so I demand reparations from Ireland for their torture of my peoples
Also being British, I demand reparations from Sweden, the Ottomans, the Dutch Republic, Brunswick-Lüneburg, France, Spain, Hungary, Bavaria, the Jacobites, Prussia, Saxony, Genoa, Italy, the French East India Company, the Holy Roman Empire (and all its constituents,) Sardinia, India, Sri Lanka, the United States, every American Indian tribe, Poland, Denmark, Norway, Saudi Arabia, Jamaica, Switzerland (surprise,) Haiti, Egypt, Myanmar, Afghanistan, China, Bulgaria, Sonora, Nicaragua, Iran, Pakistan, Bhutan, Ethiopia, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Austria-Hungary, every country in the Soviet Union, Japan, every Slavic country, Thailand, Ireland again, Vietnam, Albania, Malaysia, North Korea, Oman, Iceland, Indonesia, Argentina, Iraq, Liberia, and CIA
All of those to whom my people have suffered must give me money so that I can stop crying.