Throw the shovel into space, where it hits a Russian satellite and comes crashing down to earth, landing in the face of the Sniper, and, while he is yelling or something say. "Nothing personnel, kid."

You look to the sky and notice a little dot (that cannot be seen in the image) floating there. Still pissed about the Sniper, you think that maybe, just maybe, that dot might hit the Sniper.

You reel an arm back with the Slime Slasher, to throw it into space... though you'd imagine it wouldn't go far.

You throw it. To your surprise, it starts flying into space.



Oh look, a Russian satelite.

Your shovel is going fast enough to hit it, aaand...

Bonk.

The Russian satelite (along with the festive sandviches it was holding and its hat) starts falling back down to Earth with the Slime Slasher. Somehow.

You squint your eyes and look up, seeing as a few objects are re-entering the atmosphere...


Oh boy.

The Sniper looks up at the fat man about to collide with him.

The Sniper lets out an "Aww, piss." seconds before the fat satelite crashes into him.

Meanwhile, your Slime Slasher goes to swim with the fishes. RIP.

The Sniper screams and you say "Nothing personnel, kid." in the background.

RIP.

A bunch of stuff falls to your feet. 5 Jarates, 2 Festive Sandviches, and that hat the Heavy was wearing.
drown yourself for being a spiral knight

Before you can pick up the items, you think about drowning yourself for being what you are.

You jump in the water, hoping that the armor will keep you sunk and you'll die by drowning...

... only for you to float back up anyways.
Rush to the vehicle sounds

The Sniper manages to throw the Russian Satelite off (somehow).

Said Russian Satelite crashes down into the waiting chairs of the gun store next to you.

The Sniper looks at the direction he was watching before he got crunched by a Russian Satelite, and...

Oh stuff. Well, at least that explains the vehicle sounds...

The Sniper starts yelling as people start to go grab some guns because freaking Combine staple enemies are coming to put holes into everyone. There's 2 Hunter Choppers and 5 Manhacks coming you and everyone else's way, and they're obviously looking to kill.
What will you do?
Your current objective is to find your squadmates.
STATS
HELMET: Cobalt Helm (2*) | ARMOR: Cobalt Armor (2*)
WEAPONS: Calibur (2*), Sniper Rifle, none, none
HEALTH: lllll (100%)
SHIELD: (none)
MONEY: $100
ITEMS
1x Emergency Revive
10x Spark of Life
1x Small Health Kit
2x Festive Sandviches
5x Jarate
1x Russian Satelite Hat