Author Topic: Does this short-story concept suck?  (Read 655 times)

So it opens to a scene of a two characters fighting. They exchange some words, take some swings at each other, and then one of them trips. It cuts to the next seen, where the same thing happens again, this time with subtle differences, but this time they go farther than did, then one of the obviously says the wrong word. Then it cuts again to the same scene, repeating what already happened, but again with subtle differences. They get even farther than the last two scenes. This time, one of them delivers the fatal blow. Then it cuts to the directors, saying "Cut, that's a wrap! Good work guys." The point is that it wouldn't be obvious that it's a movie shoot until the end where the director talks.

I feel like it's a cool plot twist, but I feel like it might be a boring story. Thoughts?

This is for a writing project for school, has to be around 1200 words.

This looks passable. Though I don't think you can get to 1200 words without word cruft and repetition on it, it's a fine concept.

I think it's a good idea for a short story, could you post the end result here?

I think technique is more important than plot elements when you're trying to write an interesting story. The Big Lebowski is, in my opinion, one of the best-written movies I've ever seen, and what makes it interesting are the characters and the dialog. The plot itself is ultimately unimportant.

Stories that are based around a twist ending tend to be kind of cliche too. Take a look at Shyamalan's movies.

Terrible twist, but I like the resetting of the scene. Reminds me of an Ives play.

Jeez man, 1200 words? How long are they going to be fighting with cuts? Better throw in some context and exposition.

then valentine gets all the corpse parts and saves america

Jeez man, 1200 words? How long are they going to be fighting with cuts? Better throw in some context and exposition.
Yeah, this concerned me. I like the concept but it might be too short for what I need. O_o