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did you actually read all that shit

yeah
46 (71.9%)
no
18 (28.1%)

Total Members Voted: 63

Author Topic: don't jump or why grapple knife is stuff  (Read 5406 times)

   sometimes, if i am bored or in need of a mental laceration, i play grapple knife. i am sure many others have felt this pain during the deathmatch droughts that sometimes occur, and many blocklanders i am in contact with will agree with me that, in their own words, "grapple knife is stuff". the less autistic among us would desist after that initial impression, confounded as they were by the obtuseness of the grapple and knife or annoyed by the one life system, but not i. i have become rather skilled in grapple knife and, like in any other deathmatch, i began to optimize my play style. from this i discovered the most hidden secret of the expert grapple knifers; grapple knife is stuff even when youre good at it.

   after such an astonishing revelation i immediately penned it down in a format easily accessible by the common man. those who knife with frequence may have heard it before, the catchphrase "don't jump" sounding out after my successful kills. unfortunately don't jump is not as intuitive as i would like it to be and, after quite a few arguments and displeased admins, i am forced to fully reveal my secrets.

   the phrase don't jump does not mean do not jump ever per se as; although jumping certainly is hazardous due to it naturally putting the player into a very predictable trajectory, it can be used to mindgame opponents who would normally aim at your feet. my concern is only the movement between platforms that requires some form of air time

   this guide will contain visual aid such as the image below to help players fully ascertain themselves with the concept presented.



   here we have a scene that is not unusual; two players, separated between platforms, have to find some way to kill each other. the player "you" practices only the firmly defensive style of don't jump and will not leave the platform unless the situation becomes too dangerous. on the other hand, "element" is your typical grapple knife player. he is rather bored of you's charades and just wants to jump on the platform and end him. we shall examine all of the tactics element can employ to achieve his goal, the first of which is the jump.



   the noble jump: simple, refined, and an efficient way to scale the x axis. it is the most immediate option for crossing the chasm, but don't be fooled. to jump leaves the user in a tight spot; he is unable to change his trajectory in a meaningful way. the slow arc downward on to the opposing platform is almost always a death sentence to a grounded and prepared opponent. this is because of two things: the aforementioned predictable trajectory and the contrast of movement options between a midair player and a grounded player. while the midair player can only nudge himself in a direction, a grounded player has the full range of blockland's movement tools at his disposal. "you" can dodge left and right, jump, move forward, back up, and move in any which way to try and dodge the incoming knife clash. meanwhile, element is forced to not only guess where you will be but compensate for whatever disorientation his wayward fall is inflicting upon his aim. there is no denying this; if both players are relatively good at grapple knife, "you" will come out on top quite a few more times if he stoicly retains his superior positioning.

   however, the jump is not the only option a smart player has at his disposal.



   in this image, element has successfully acquainted himself with the pitfalls of pressing the space bar and opts to do a strange and unpredictable series of grapples instead.



   a congratulations is in order; element's spastic movements have allowed him to land on the platform without death. too late, however, he realizes a problem with his plan; he has to draw and charge his knife. while he may hold the superior position of the platform, he has given up the first knife strike of the match and, in a game in which players dance around the maximum range of the knife looking for an opening, he has put himself at a huge disadvantage. although you's knife is not charged in the photograph, it would most certainly be in a real game, and he would have free reign to approach and stab element at whim. thus ends the story of element, defeated both times and unable to overcome the don't jump philosophy.

   "but destroy", i hear, "surely element can do something to win?". no, he cannot. the only thing element can do is pray that you messes up and misses the stab in which case both situations reset to a neutral ground. proper application of don't jump would mandate this as a call for retreat and re-establishment on a different platform by simply falling off and grappling away, completely resetting the situation. there is no possible way to get on the platform without either putting yourself in a very predictable jump or losing the first knife hit of the battle. the only solution would be to remove the necessity of jumping to reach opponents. you and element both agreed that a map should be built for this specific purpose and do so with relative ease.



   behold, the final evolution of grapple knife maps. both players have a full range of movement at their disposal and are able to skirmish until they are content. a mere 64x baseplate has provided a far better habitat than any number of neon platforms, but brings up one important question; what point would a grapple serve on a flat map? the answer is none. grapple is merely a patchwork fix for the already horrific floating square map that has somehow cemented itself as a standard in all knife servers. grapple knife is an unfortunate accident that still persists because it has somehow garnered a cult following of "expert" stabbers who preach its merits to the world, but all they speak is lies. the inevitable optimal strategy for every team is merely sitting on the spawn plate and waiting for any idiot who would foolishly advance upon them, and the only reason it isn't in use is due to the relatively low skill level of blockland players and the utter boredom that the strategy distills into the souls of everyone on the server. basically, grapple knife is stuff. if you like it forget you and, if you are like me and occasionally join the servers anyway, always remember; don't jump.
« Last Edit: January 23, 2017, 11:56:15 PM by DestroyerOfBlocks »


grapple knife sucks is what


yes but as your appointed god i must say that you are all cretins and my knifing skills are highly superior to yours which is why you believe you believe element cannot win

your building skills are superb

i would like to clarify that i dont think element winning is impossible. if you forgets up and element gets lucky he can easily win or Self Delete kill him but that still places the situation almost entirely in you's hands

support this all the way. grapple knife is for morons


less grapple knife more rising lava

rykuta's city top knife tdm was the best knife tdm

there was no need for jumping and no grapples

grapples are a foul mark upon knife tdms


less grapple knife more rising lava
wish someone would host this




yea this is pretty much why i prefer ramp knife or citytop knife

doing a jump in BL DMs is just a bad idea in general
while there are times where a jump will save your life, doing a jump in any other situation usually results in dying

it would be more entertaining if it used the updated grapple tool that can grapple onto players