So I been gone a while and figured I'd drop in to say hi as long as I was logging in to use the search feature.
Past two years have been so-so but things are improving lately for the most part. Still at college for computer science, in second semester of Junior year now and OH MY GOD IS IT EVER DULL.
If ShadowsfeaR is around, I still wear the button pin thing he sent me way back when. I don't wear my absolutely-trashy baseball cap anymore though, I finally realized that it just looks like stuff (all falling apart and too small and permanently stained with dirt and sweat) and that people notice that sort of thing.
I've run into a lot of problems with my best friends just up and vanishing from my life. Seems to happen pretty often and generally due to outside circumstances, though of course I have no guarantee of that. My paranoia seems to be so-so, social awkwardness also so-so, self-confidence sort of improving (see below) but I need to remember not to get roostery, that'll just end badly for everyone. I'm on different meds now that work a little better, so my mood is a bit better than it used to be, but I'm still kind of unstable. I'm a real work in progress, I guess. I'm starting to dislike communicating via text, too much mood and tone related stuff gets lost in it, I guess it feels sort of detached.
My best friend from last semester isn't back this semester, which is a bummer, but I got to visit her place two weeks ago and I guess we're dating now, I think? Can't visit each other very often yet. Neither of us have a car and she lives a good hour and a half away. I'm gonna be actually trying (like seriously really trying, the way I try when I'm stubborn) to get a job real soon, hopefully I can get something better than minimum wage and make enough over the summer to get a used car. She's really nice, a lot like me but quieter and more introverted, a lot more attractive (though she doesn't seem to see it), and fun to be around and just chill and play games with. In person, we get along really really well. Neither of us really knows what we're doing with the whole relationship thing though, we're definitely gonna need to have a talk about expectations and whatnot. I just hope communication doesn't become an issue - may need time to gather courage and whatnot. We've both got a lot of insecurities to work through, too, and based on some google-fu, it looks like both of us are chock-full of red flags. Both our families and our friends seem to think we're a cute couple though. *shrug*
So tl;dr: change, just change.
So whassup with you, BLF?
