it's a bit out of character but reading through what i was typing i honestly couldn't understand any of it so i'm gonna go ahead and write coherently
So basically, when I joined, I was completely antisocial and didn't know at all when to and not to joke. What happened as a result of that is that, on the forums, I was yelled at and was constantly misunderstood considering I didn't know how to create tone in writing or how to be social. In real life, it took me literal years to figure out who was and who wasn't a good friend, and who I should connect with---didn't really help when I was moving halfway across the country every two years.
Slowly, over time, this place shaped me and taught me how to be social. For instance, when to talk, how to talk, how to pull off a good joke, how to pull off a stupid joke, etc. Really showed me how to shape myself into the kind of person I wanted to be but couldn't get across. See. back at that point, I was constantly concerned about what everyone else thought about me, so I just ended up kissing the cool people's asses until they became """friends""" with me the same way that all the popular kids usually are. What happened here is that all the chill people who rightfully didn't like these guys started to hate me as a result of that. When I moved to california and really didn't get any social experience for two years straight apart from this place, I started to realize that I needed to go out and do stuff, talk to people at least, but I really couldn't since all my neighbors just knew me as the antisocial kid with the wonky-ass haircut. Thankfully I was moving away pretty soon later so I just held it out and tried to grasp as much as I could about how to make friends, how to actually be satisfied with life and be more than a dipstuff robot.
So, cut to Virginia, the first few months was extremely awkward since I was still shifting into a better way of life, but the problem is that everybody who liked me did it because I kissed their ass at the start of the year. This really forgetin sucked since later, when they actually like me, I feel like half the reason is just because I sucked up to them x months ago and they only half like me. It took me a bit but posting more and being more friendly on the forums made me figure out that I shouldn't even give half a stuff about what xyz popular kid likes me since the only people I actually want to like me are the ones that would in the first place. May sound confusing but it's hard to put into words.
Tl;dr, looking at this place and browsing/posting in this godforsaken website has taught me how to make friends, how to keep friends, and even managed to cure me of my antisocialness. Lately it's motivated me to reach further in certain skills and to actually care about not only my future but my friends' futures too, and gave me a perspective of how me just talking to them affects everything. It's the little things that matter, whether you're talking figuratively or practically
Basically, I'd probably be crying somewhere in a ditch if I never stayed at this place
probably my eleventh edit by now: just remembered that i figured out how to sleep pretty recently because of this place too
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