Author Topic: I can't forget about my ex. (Read 1553 times)

caxto · April 03, 2018, 07:51:51 PM

Things have gone sour between me and my ex about 2 months ago. We broke up and we argued to the point where she has blocked me on everything and she wants nothing to do with me. I'm trying to carry on and forget about her and look towards the future but i can't help but finding myself thinking about her or having nightmares about her when i try to sleep at night. She was typically the only one i hung out with because i feel like i can't relate with a lot of people in my area and i feel like i can't be myself around them. Is there anything at all i can do to try and forget about her and move on towards the future? How do i make new friends IRL and feel comfortable on my own without feeling like i need to be in a relationship? How do i feel okay and stay calm if i see something that reminds me of her or if i see her at all instead of feeling upset or sad?

I know it's a bit ridiculous to open up like this to strangers on the internet but i am just in desperate need of help with this.

edit: It was a relationship of about 4 years so it has hit me pretty hard

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thegoodperry · April 03, 2018, 07:52:42 PM

next time dont fall in love with unfaithful hoes :shrug:

thegoodperry · April 03, 2018, 07:55:33 PM

^ i kid. moving on is pretty tough. hope you get thru it alright homie

usually when you get into a relationship you should avoid becoming 100% attached (4 years AND you're having nightmares) because most relationships are bound to end at some point and ending a relationship you were immensely attached to is really bad for your health, leads to depression and hurts a lot, etc. the best way to move on from a relationship is to focus on yourself and improve your life, start exercising or doing things you love or your hobby. relationships usually take us away from that stuff because we begin to focus less on ourselves and more on our partner and its important to get that balance back

Conan · April 03, 2018, 07:58:41 PM

keep yourself busy with work. if you have hobbies and stuff you enjoy, do them more. if you stopped having them after having the relationship, bring them back. if you never had any at all, find some. the best way to move on is letting time pass, and the only way to get time to pass is to do stuff during that time so you dont mull over the loss forever.

carolcat · April 03, 2018, 07:59:44 PM

p sure that if you've been with them 4 years, it's hard to not get attached. that's some mad commitment

you just gotta try to distance yourself from it. block out the thoughts and don't dwell on it

thegoodperry · April 03, 2018, 08:03:07 PM

is there a context behind your breakup? you dont have to say it if you dont want to but it could help you if you address the circumstances with other people, regardless of whose fault it is, if anyone is at fault

�l��kf�ce · April 03, 2018, 08:03:53 PM

was broken up with a few days ago, feels like stuff
i hope you feel better op

caxto · April 03, 2018, 08:19:19 PM

Quote from: thegoodperry on April 03, 2018, 08:03:07 PM

is there a context behind your breakup? you dont have to say it if you dont want to but it could help you if you address the circumstances with other people, regardless of whose fault it is, if anyone is at fault

It's my fault because i typically never vented my frustrations with my ex, but i felt like i couldn't vent my frustrations without her trying to point the finger back on me or getting irrationally upset and not listening to me. She also corrected me a lot and made me feel really low about myself but there where really nice times when we got along fine and we'd hug or cuddle or fall asleep next to one another, or we'd have really nice times just hanging out somewhere together. I also felt like i couldn't really be myself around her, and i also felt like she didn't care about our relationship sometimes because there was an interval of time where i stopped texting her out of the blue to see how long it would take her to text me and she ignored me for weeks on end until i send her text again and i also felt like she didn't care about our relationship because she would often refuse to do anything i'd like to do (i.e just sit and talk, play a game together, or just even quietly relax and appreciate one another's company, etc.) however we'd always do what she would want to do because she would continuously ask and if we didn't do what she wanted she'd get irritated or angry with me.

edit: With the time period where i stopped texting her, it was because i was getting frustrated with prior events where she would only text me if i texted her first. i didn't expect a text every day, it's just that i felt like she didn't really care whether or not we spoke because i always had to initiate the conversations.

hillkill · April 03, 2018, 08:43:32 PM

you don't need to be in a relationship. you want to because you want to feel loved, no?

who loves you more than anyone? yourself. if you don't love yourself, then you need to work on that. trust me, you'll feel more content with yourself, have the confidence to make friends, and appreciate solitude (not being in a relationship)

distract yourself to forget about her. play video games or just about anything that requires focus. pick up a new hobby-- like guitar.

Quote from: caxto on April 03, 2018, 08:19:19 PM

she didn't care about our relationship sometimes because there was an interval of time where i stopped texting her out of the blue to see how long it would take her to text me and she ignored me for weeks on end until i send her text again

what kind of relationship is based on not seeing each other for weeks?

Kevso · April 03, 2018, 08:58:03 PM

Your relationship sounded pretty bad. You should at least have some relief that the nonsense you had to put up with is over.

Anyways, to forget her just accept your life without her, don't try to block the thought of her out. Accept it and then forget about it.

beachbum111111 · April 03, 2018, 08:59:59 PM

Quote from: hillkill on April 03, 2018, 08:43:32 PM

you don't need to be in a relationship. you want to because you want to feel loved, no?

who loves you more than anyone? yourself. if you don't love yourself, then you need to work on that. trust me, you'll feel more content with yourself, have the confidence to make friends, and appreciate solitude (not being in a relationship)

distract yourself to forget about her. play video games or just about anything that requires focus. pick up a new hobby-- like guitar.

t. r/incels

Col. Burton · April 03, 2018, 09:00:21 PM

It took me 6 months to get over my last ex, so its gonna be a bit. Accepting it is probably the hardest part but you will do it and then you will be okay.

hillkill · April 03, 2018, 09:01:05 PM

Quote from: beachbum111111 on April 03, 2018, 08:59:59 PM

t. r/incels

how is that anything like an incel?

Punished Kidalex90 · April 03, 2018, 09:02:06 PM

~~kill her~~
for real though sorry about your ex

Woof · April 04, 2018, 04:49:08 AM

водка the memory eraser