open letter to xelau

[Kochieboy]

I'm going to mail you a penny in an envelope. Then the next day I'll mail 2 pennies. I'll keep adding a penny every day until it gets to be a handicapped amount of pennies. Like the envelope can barely hold them. Eventually you're gonna have all these goddamn pennies you won't know what to do with. You'll start with a cup of pennies and then graduate to a milk jug. After a while you'll give up on child's play and move on to something like one of those bigass plastic storage containers. But even that won't be enough. I'm not sending the pennies in envelopes anymore. I'm sending them in packages. This takes a stuffton of money to ship because it's loving heavy. You'll keep getting packages of pennies day after day. You will eventually have an entire room set aside just to put pennies in. One day you'll get fed up and take them to coin star or something. But by then it will be too late. It doesn't matter anyway. I'll still be sending more pennies than you can get rid of.
you'll try to throw them away. You won't give a stuff. The garbage won't take them though because they're too loving heavy. Your life will become pennies. You will dream about pennies. You'll dread going home. But it won't stop there. I'll start leaving them in your car too. They'll pile up endlessly and there's nothing you can do about it.
At some point you'll give up on your house and try to move in with a friend so you can finally be free from the copper hell. But oh no! stuff's forget up in there too! Pennies are already there. He doesn't know why, but it doesn't matter. You do. This will inevitably lead to you being homeless because you will have literally exhausted any means of escaping this shiny nightmare. You'll be asleep on the streets one night. You'll be awoken suddenly by a jingling sound. "Oh no!" you think. You know what it is. You open your eyes and see me. I'm standing in front of you. I just dropped a large sack of pennies.

I have just spent my entire life savings making your life miserable, you piece of stuff.

[Ad Bot]

[xelau]

OH yeah!?


I am going to stuff in a box, and then im going to train a wild ferret to transport limes from the kitchen to new Hampshire, i will then collect approximately 17 slices of cheese, use a blow dryer to partially melt them onto a naked man's body. pay him to carry a disused tuba to the white house and then have the president play Chuck Manjioni on it, it will be pretty low pitched and terribly off key because that's not even the right instrument. but little did you know that is the ferret's key to transport about 2 and a half limes to new Hampshire. meanwhile the box of stuff has been sent to your house via carrier pidgin. when the limes reach new Hampshire it will be payment for a crazed homeless man who has been waiting for my signal to ride the rails all the way to west richardota or wherever you loving live. the homeless man will then take Polaroid pictures of your window and document what you have on your window sill on a day to day basis, using this information i will send a pack of highly trained alpacas to your location to spit on your window. when you open up your window to see what all the hub bub is about i will have a catapult pre-built to fire the stuff in the box at your face hole. you will then have poo on your mouth area and as a result will contemplate your own existence and take up hard drugs.

[Conan]

holy stuff what did xealu do to you?

[IkeTheGeneric]

to xelau:

i wish there was a good blf-ran ss13 server with proficient moderators that would be fun as heck

[xelau]

to xelau:

i wish there was a good blf-ran ss13 server with proficient moderators that would be fun as heck

i lost interest in blockstation/tikistation and so did cyclowns too i think so we never finished it

[Nix the Glaceon]

I am going to track down where you live, and remove one of your house's windows while you sleep. I will also steal enough money to ensure you are one penny short of buying a new window, and every time you get more money, I will repeat this. As you accept this, I will begin sneaking lady beetles into your house through your missing window. One beetle per night. For the first 50 days, you will barely notice, but as it continues, you will realize that your house has too many beetles to count. Your house will be full of lady beetles, and because of it, you will be very angry.

[IkeTheGeneric]

i lost interest in blockstation/tikistation and so did cyclowns too i think so we never finished it

damn

[hootaloo]

to xelau:

i wish there was a good blf-ran ss13 server with proficient moderators that would be fun as heck

i could host one when we have mutual weeks off which happens a few times a year

[hootaloo]

btw OP we have machines that u can dump coins in and it will put it on your bank account

[datiel12]

dear xelau


-

love, +

[Kochieboy]

everyone else forget off, this is between me and that stuffstain

xelau if you come near me, I will take my richard off and bury it in the back yard next to my old dog waffles and your mom's vag that I destroyed last night

[Fire Vine]

the forget is this thread

[xelau]

Listen here you stuffHEEL

I will Scrape off my own taint, sew it to your dog, and send him on his way, i will then die from blood loss, but your dog will have my taint sewed to his face, you will have to peel my taint off your dog, and het my DNA everywhere then the police will send you to a federal 'pound-me-in-the-ass' prison. I will be watching it all in hell on my big screen TV with satan and Riddler while we enjoy a hot brew together and laugh about old times.

[Kochieboy]

I'm going to start a collection of old priceless clown figurines signed by the original cast of the famous leave it to beaver spinoff "Big ol' Bobby" starring a young Ron Howard look-alike. I will take these clowns and smash all of them up into a big ceramic pile. I'll take this pile of trash and tape it all together in a really big ball. It'll be a REALLY loving big ball. Like 13". I'll use this ball to throw at a passing car. This will enrage the driver and cause him/her to confront me. I'll use my legs to kick them in the face and steal the car. I will then promptly drive to the nearest store that still for some reasons rents movies. I'll rent the movie "Unexpected Gravy" starring that big tits woman with a butterface and make like 100 copies. I'll sneak into your house and replace every dvd you own with a pirated copy of said movie. I'll then go outside, cut your cable line, and start stapling portraits of Steve Buscemi all over your house (for good measure). You'll get bored without cable and try to watch your digital video disk copy of "space balls" (gay) but OH NO! It will be that stuff ass movie from the movie store.

you forget

[Figure]

im going to buy a honda civic at bigdik eme's used cars. i will drive that baby for miles with no problems. i would drive to your house with 3" flex pvc pipe and attach it to my exhaust pipe leading into the troll cave where you live. i would enter through your house and find a nice glass jar of pickles. i would go down to your troll cave and bash you with the lid of the pickles so the jar doesn't break. i would use your lose foreskin as a jar opener and fling the lid like a frizbee into your cat. your cat now has brain damage and bites into your foreskin and eats your flabs. i'd go back upstairs and. grab the pipe and bring it down to the cave you call home and back upstairs and turn the car on, close the garage door, and eat your jar of pickles that you weren't inclined to eat because all you do is hog them down your throat you loving bitch.