My songs are related to certain moments in my life that have a lot of deep meaning to me and I feel like they shape who I am as a person. Most of my songs involve crying, I guess that's just who I am.
Agape - Bear's Den
When I was younger I got cat-fished for two years by someone who had a completely different location, appearance, name, and even general life than the one they made up for me. This person was everything to me. There wasn't a single day that went by that we didn't talk. When I finally figured it out, on top of my heart completely shattering, they disappeared. I've never experienced something more painful. I discovered this song around the same time and it always stuck with me. Bear's Den eventually became the band that meant the most to me, maybe this had something to do with it.
Maybe There's a Loving God - Sara Groves
I'm in no way religious, but this song still gets to me. I have never had a lot of friends in life and to this day I still don't. When I was dating my catfish, I gave them all of my time. They were my one and my only. When they left me, it was only weeks until Christmas. The holidays have always been such happy times in my life, but this Christmas-eve I realized that I had nobody left but my family who at this point in my life completely despised each other. I remember sitting on my concrete basement floor at 11:59 PM, the glow of red Christmas lights filling the room, and this song playing. As the clock struck midnight I sobbed myself to sleep on the floor, haha. At least when I woke up it was Christmas. We were a poor family but I knew I could always look forward to that Christmas morning breakfast in brand new soft pajamas~
Un Flambeau, Jeanette Isabelle - Kurt Bestor
On a different Christmas morning from the previous story, I remember being completely snowed in. Still, we had no milk, and that's simply a crime. I got into my SUV, and managed to get out of the driveway and into our small town. The entire town was just blanketed in a perfect sheet of white snow. Other than a few people slipping around in the snow, and the employees of the local gas station, there was nobody around. The streets were so still and quiet. This song played over the radio, a simple instrumental piece with no words. It was very peaceful and a really happy moment in my life.
5AM - Amber Run
Years after my ex-catfish disappeared, I started dating again. This time I met a person who I just instantly fell in love with. We always had so much fun and there wasn't ever a dull moment when we were together. Relationships are very important to me and I always give my absolute all. I believe that monogamous relationships should be 60/40%, with both partners trying to be the 60%. My love languages are primarily touch and words, while theirs are service and time. I loved this person so much and I would tell them every day... but they always felt so distant. They didn't tell me they loved me unless I asked, didn't like to kiss, didn't give hugs, never wanted to cuddle up together... This was hurtful to me because I always did my best to speak their love language. I gave away so much of my free time to be with them, and I always tried to do things to make their life a little easier. I once spent two weeks of my summer at their parents' house watching three horribly-trained dogs so my partner could go on vacation. I guess I just felt forgotten. Even when I expressed my feelings and asked that they randomly text me just twice a month that they loved me, they never did. It all started coming to an end when they randomly let me know one night that they were joining the Navy. Late that night I just broke down while driving home from their apartment. I pulled over and started crying while this song played. To this day we are no longer dating but they are still my best, and sometimes my only friend. They later realized that they were aloveual and I fully respect that. It just wasn't meant to be.
Our Town - James Taylor
Yes, the song from Cars. I miss my family a lot and this song just brings back a lot of memories of when we would spend our summers in the canyons at our family ranch. We had two ponds, four cabins, and no electronics. At night we would heat the home using our wood-fire stove by cooking food like baked beans and corn bread~ It was a simple time and I miss it dearly.
He Mele No Lilo - Mark Kealiʻi Hoʻomalu & Kamehameha Schools
Keeping with the theme of movie music, this song is from Lilo & Stitch. It's the opening song, and it's a tribute to ke aliʻi wahine ʻo Liliʻuokalani, Queen Liliʻuokalani, and ke aliʻi Kalākaua, King Kalākaua. The first time I heard this song I was struck by how beautiful the language was. I was 7 years old when I started researching the Hawaiian language and I quickly learned that the language is badly documented due to the overthrow of the Hawaiian Kingdom in 1893, which came with it a ban on the language until about 1949, meaning that only about 300 native speakers remain worldwide. For my whole life I have been slowly learning this language. I carry around a Hawaiian dictionary with me everywhere I go and I am always working on getting better. I have many Hawaiian relatives and none of them can speak the language -- and that's unfortunately extremely common among Hawaiians. Some day I'd love to go to the University of Hawaiʻi to study the language and help revive it in any way I can.
^_^
