Author Topic: [UPDATE]Papa John, visibly wet, says he's had 40 pizzas in the last 30 days  (Read 1543 times)

https://www.cnn.com/2019/11/26/business/papa-johns-schnatter-interview-trnd/index.html

the dude appeared on an interview high as balls, stuff-talking the new ceos.

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"I've had over 40 pizzas in the last 30 days, and it's not the same pizza," Schnatter said of the company.

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While Schnatter declined to reveal any more details, he had an ominous warning: "Stay tuned. The day of reckoning will come. The record will be straight."

papa john about to shoot something up
« Last Edit: December 06, 2019, 12:54:25 AM by Aide33 »

my brother papa john really bout to ascend beyond humanity and use his newfound powers as a high-level grease elemental to exact revenge on the people who stole his pizza empire from him


my brother papa john really bout to ascend beyond humanity and use his newfound powers as a high-level grease elemental to exact revenge on the people who stole his pizza empire from him
hes like john wick but pizza

Okay but did anyone else immediately notice a dip in quality when he left

real talk I can taste the difference. prefer a kinda stuffty local place over PJ's now

the infidels will fall at the sight of the reckoning

anyone wanna light up with me before papa johns day of reckoning

Okay but did anyone else immediately notice a dip in quality when he left
i havent ordered papa's since

"The Day of Reckoning," yells John as he holds the whole pizza above his head, grease visibly dripping down his forehead and shoulders, "has finally come."
John begins to hover above everyone in the food court, his eyes glowing bright red. Men, women, and children alike scream and run for their lives, but it's no use. John has blocked each exit in the building with large solidified grease pillars, the same ones appearing below people and crushing them against the ceiling.
As John floats higher, his eyes glowing more red, and blood splattering on his jacket, the outside world begins to understand what the Day of Reckoning is. The families of competing pizza chains are first, they start bleeding from each pore and orifice in their body. Their organs begin to fail, and they start becoming delusional. Once they are done, the rest of the life on earth is affected. They, too, see the effects of Papa. Those spared are forced to work as cashiers and/or cooks for Papa Johns. Not just any normal Papa Johns, though. Papa Johns restaurants begin to pop out of the ground, on the street, in fields, even in people's own homes. These buildings are all identical in material and structure.
John settles down. He exits the mall, grease pillars having disappeared, and proudly looks at the sight he has created. The blood, the corpses, the restaurants, the pizza.
Papa John is the new ruler of the earth. All who fail to worship and obey are brutally executed. The Day of Reckoning is over.


i've been laughing non stop at this for a week now like it's truly an insight into the mind of someone who's well and truly lost the plot


he predicted the end times with his wife so accurately wtf