Author Topic: need serious help and advice regarding a toxic household (Read 7235 times)

Nix the Glaceon · December 09, 2019, 06:39:53 PM

Quote from: The Resonte! on December 09, 2019, 05:55:45 PM

a best case scenario would have your father having to see a therapist, possibly a group therapy
session, and have your issues resolved and become a coherent family

that's what I want most, honestly. talked with my grandma and she said that she overheard him asking the doctors who diagnosed me all those years ago if they can explain my mental issues, and she's pretty sure he's looking into getting help

i really hope this is true

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Drydess · December 09, 2019, 06:40:19 PM

talk with me whenever you feel like, it�d absolutely be my pleasure. wish I could be of more help input-wise, but I�m always happy to help out a friend

Trogtor · December 09, 2019, 07:28:10 PM

Quote from: Nix the Glaceon on December 09, 2019, 04:30:32 PM

haha yeah dont worry im never going anywhere near anything illegal. not even gonna touch a single weed, drugs scare meonce i get a car and i start getting some money through commissions and maybe a job at like publix or something im hoping i'll have an ounce of independence at that point.

where do you live at if you don't mind me asking

Nix the Glaceon · December 09, 2019, 10:07:04 PM

what up forum im posting this from my 3ds. my dad thinks im staying up past midnight [even though im homeschooled so i have literally no reason to wake up early haha] so now my phone has to be put up at 10. hopefully he forgets about this soon because holy god damn this sucks!

Quote from: Drydess on December 09, 2019, 06:40:19 PM

talk with me whenever you feel like, it�d absolutely be my pleasure. wish I could be of more help input-wise, but I�m always happy to help out a friend

ill keep in touch. you seem like a cool dude

Quote from: Trogtor on December 09, 2019, 07:28:10 PM

where do you live at if you don't mind me asking

florida

HerpaDerp · December 09, 2019, 10:13:14 PM

none of this is your fault and trust me it is very easy to fall into the trap of blaming yourself in situations like this.
you've given more than enough evidence that there are a lot of awful circumstances (and people) that are making you unhappy.
let alone the adhd and autism, which are beasts of their own. hang in there, ppl have given good resources on how to move forward - and know that you are not the one at fault here, nor is any of this a reflection of you.

Nix the Glaceon · December 10, 2019, 08:53:23 AM

had a good sleep, gonna update now that i dont have to type on the god damn 3ds lol

yesterday when my dad was gone i talked with my grandma about this.
my first question was 'do you think dad is abusive', response was no. i told her that the way he parents and disciplines is, by definition, verbal abuse, and a form of manipulation. didn't ask her again afterwards because i forgot to.
she then told me that she overheard him calling the centers, the local mental institute place thing that diagnosed me with asd, asking for my diagnosis. she thinks that this is because he wants to try understanding my problems but i honestly don't think so, it's really making me nervous.
she is certain that he's trying to improve himself.

thoughts?

Insert Name Here� · December 10, 2019, 11:17:55 AM

don't sugarcoat it to her, fully detail what your dad is doing to you, saying to you, and how it's making you feel and act in response to how he's acting

Nix the Glaceon · December 10, 2019, 11:20:03 AM

she knows the stuff he's done lol; she's seen it all herself. she just doesn't understand the magnitude of the situation

Insert Name Here� · December 10, 2019, 11:29:40 AM

Quote from: Nix the Glaceon on December 10, 2019, 11:20:03 AM

she just doesn't understand the magnitude of the situation

thats why I'm saying for you to detail it all out exactly. She may have seen it, but she may not understand exactly how downright stuff it's making you feel, suicidal included.

Nix the Glaceon · December 10, 2019, 11:39:33 AM

i'll elaborate more when i get the chance. i try not to bring up suicidal thoughts in things because talking about it always makes me feel like an attention whore

Conan · December 10, 2019, 11:49:40 AM

how old are you? will you be legally an adult soon?

this is a tough call and obviously going as far as getting cps involved and potentially getting your parents to lose custody of you is extreme. definitely a last resort thing. do it if you feel theres no way out except Self Delete.

for the meantime collecting evidence/recordings as damp did will give you something to do/help you get a grasp on the situation. even a written diary can work for things that arent recorded - how much you sleep and how often for example.

Nix the Glaceon · December 10, 2019, 12:23:41 PM

Quote from: Conan on December 10, 2019, 11:49:40 AM

how old are you? will you be legally an adult soon?

i'm 16. i turn 18 in 2021.

Quote from: Conan on December 10, 2019, 11:49:40 AM

this is a tough call and obviously going as far as getting cps involved and potentially getting your parents to lose custody of you is extreme. definitely a last resort thing. do it if you feel theres no way out except Self Delete.

i do Not want to get cps involved. i've already gotten the police involved and all it's done was make things worse and enable him because cops are absolutely atrocious when it comes to dealing with situations like this. and no im not gonna kill myself.

Quote from: Conan on December 10, 2019, 11:49:40 AM

for the meantime collecting evidence/recordings as damp did will give you something to do/help you get a grasp on the situation. even a written diary can work for things that arent recorded - how much you sleep and how often for example.

probably gonna use this thread as a diary of sort so y'all can give input on it and tell me what to do. i get about 9 hours of sleep a day

Nix the Glaceon · December 10, 2019, 12:25:51 PM

forget cops btw. im glad my sick grandma's tax dollars are being used to keep me in an abusive, toxic household under threat of arrest /sarcasm

K3k0m@n · December 10, 2019, 04:49:26 PM

sorry to be offtopic to the main issue at hand but lemme just congratulate this topic for being really nice about the issue and giving genuine advice. its very heartwarming to see genuine help be given rather then stuffposting or whatever. lookin forward to your situation bein improved - its great to see the current outcome of this topic and i hope it continues like this. the blf isnt entirely toxic after all!

Nix the Glaceon · December 11, 2019, 11:34:00 AM

im worried today